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Confrontation Of The Titans

On January 15, 2013, in Leadership Deluxe, by Neculai Fantanaru

Confer consistency and flexibility to your leadership, overcoming the self-imposed conventional barriers.

I was always convinced that nothing controls more the Man, essential and defining, outside his genes, outside his predominant nature, than his actions, whose consequences he cannot foresee.

Even if only from this point of view, a sour and free concept of my shred of existence, I could give up to the irresistible temptation of living, confusing, ironic and dry, another time, and another reality. The transition towards an absurd stage of self-knowledge, degrading, that could simply throw me into a genuine despair.

The only light of my existence was more secondary to the "primordial light". My way of accepting the everyday life seemed to contrast with the increasing need, almost manic, to live something different, and to act according to the representation of some antagonistic laws. A misleading aspect that I did not imagine, but which I had to assume with the same feeling of guilt that bears into his soul a judge, who assumes some prerogatives outside his competence.

I was ceaselessly crashing by the difficulties which I did not expect, an ambiguity maintained by spontaneous contradictions. Challenged on the one hand by a state of indecision caused by a process of change that was not brought to an end, and on the other hand by the existence of an opposition between the courage of looking me in the face, the will of detaching myself of individualism, the will to open my eyes, heart, life perspectives towards various horizons.

In a word, I was tempted to compete with my own authority.

Leadership: Are you tempted to relate to the mirrored image at the core of the experience of meeting yourself in the representation of a privileged reality expressed in terms of "contradictory unity"?

My existence was distorted, fragmented, like a cloud that slowly changes its shape, by several attempts of self-rehabilitation. It seemed that none of them could not be accomplished. Basically, I had learned to see myself as a contradictory unit when I did not want to accept myself as an incurable nonconformist, but I was forced to do it.

I felt dazed, like that merchant which, returning from a pilgrimage to Mecca, stops at a well. After eating some dates, throws the stones into the air - and one of the kernel kills the invisible spirit of an air ghost. When he finds out of his crime - the consequence of an uncalculated action, all the regrets invade his being.

I isolated myself in space possessed by troubles, fears and regrets.

Something strange aroused my curiosity into more and more directions, without satisfying any of them fully. I should have adopted a firm position, reforming positive, saving. Not to commit an act, whose consequences I cannot predict. In a particular extent, there was a tacit refusal to disengage myself from any frustration that gathered like an internal tension, imposing me more and more forbiddances - which if it was not treated, ended up to become a pattern, and eventually a personality trait.

However, exactly the opposite the things stood. I adopted an unclear position, unstable and humble, who gave me to understand that I agree with what ordered the "authority" within me, this actuating mechanism that influenced my way of being. This defiant power, this inner Javert, unstoppable by an unendurable debt, constabulary, standing in wait until surprises me off guard - instead of supporting me, it was disturbing me into the deepest way possible.

I put on the wall by my own personality, by my absolutely contradictory nature, by my own stillness in a certain stage of evolution. A minimum degree of flexibility, and I could retrieve myself, I could understand what is up with me, what I want, what do I proceed in the way I do, why do I feel as I feel, why I am still an island hidden in the midst of a stormy sea.

Leadership: Do you have to design a new trajectory of your personality in engaging in a stupid act of overturning appearances that become permanent on the line of a tired mind with a reality slightly farther from its views?

Do you succumb to the temptation to live in a confusing way another reality? Does your transition towards the full stage of self-knowledge causes a certain amount of frustration? Does my way of accepting my daily life contrasts with the increasing need to live something different? Do you act in accordance with the representation of some antagonistic laws?

Understanding your own reality, with all that it represents in your way towards personal perfection, may prove to be a great burden, an irreversible process, which cannot flow than only in one direction: towards involution. This definitive understanding of what you are and what you represent into the transition to a higher stage of development can have side effects - it can restrict the horizon of expectations, with whom you look at the future, limiting any way of access towards excellence.

You cannot live your life in leadership than going forward, understanding better with what kind of person you are dealing with - your own Ego. However, this Ego, like a mountain that triggers an unexpected avalanche, can redirect your attention to some defects that you do not accept at you, upon a degrading reality, based on a lower self-knowledge. An explosion in your personality that you cannot master, that can simply throw you into a real desperation.

Leadership: How do you rival your own authority from the position of a disoriented man who suspends the other senses of orientation from the perspective of an existence that refuses itself from the curious gaze of a follower, enclosing itself within itself?

In the novel "Knight’s gambit", the American writer, William Faulkner expresses an opinion: "To know how will sleep the rider at night, ask the horse."

And the powerful people, but especially them are vulnerable at one time. And you will be at some point put in the rider’s position, shrouded into a thick fog, where nothing can be seen. Exposed before a state of confusion, which constantly whispers: "I do not know what to do, I do not know what to feel, I do not know how to deal with this situation." Accompanied by a false impression, created by a harsh reality, alike an ignorant being, whom you feel the need to protect it.

On one side, the constant presence in your life will always be the "Knight" – the single chess piece through the way it moves, designating the necessity, the hope of deliverance from this state, a perfect mirror of the way you treat yourself - with your own authority restricting the horizons. The "Knight" prevents you, provides you that minimum degree of flexibility, to retrieve yourself. There is no better recipe for success than your transposition into a positive reality.

But on the other side, you will be exposed to that defiant power, to the tendency of letting yourself integrated into the whims and models of a negative thinking – you will be under the authority of that inner Javert, lurking until catches you off guard, disturbing your existence in the deepest way possible.

If you adopt an unclear position, unstable and humble, you will give to understand that you agree with what orders this authority within you, this "actuating mechanism" that influences your way of being, personality, and so on your leadership style that you practice.

A follower is that state that makes you win or lose your motivation, which suddenly encompasses you and you do not really know how to grasp it, and especially where to grasp it from, depending on the reality you claim to be the only option of accepting the meaning of life.

The positive changes taking place in your style to lead, first occurs at the central level, in your personality structure. Make valuable your leadership, permanently adding an extra value, of energy and power.

Constantly fight with yourself, with that part of yourself that you cannot overcome easily, with Javert. Exceed the contradictory aspects of your own Ego. Avoid any stillness in a particular stage of evolution. There is not, therefore, irrelevant what we believe, more exactly said, what we expect from the future today, for the concrete forms in which it will be carried out tomorrow.

Are you filled with a sense of guilt made by a deceptive aspect, by a state of indecision due to a change process that has not been brought to an end? Are you tempted to compete with your own authority?

Leadership is what you impose on yourself as a meaning of life that goes beyond the contents of thoughts into a reality whose content you will never be able to fully comprehend.

Confrontation Of The Titans designates that constant struggle between the two sides within yourself - a side that surprises you off guard, which makes you see yourself with critical eyes, distorting your personality, and one that suits you best, bringing you special thanks. A battle between two titans, of which comes only one winner: the leadership.


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