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Oscillations Into The Unknown

On February 27, 2013, in Leadership N6-Celsius, by Neculai Fantanaru

The way you contribute to creating your own identity outlines the true value of your leadership.

I was subjected to the merciless confrontation with the unleashed reality of a world "off its handles". My world, integrated into a Dali painting with absolutes. The final round of a giant game, revised in the backstage. The expression of a tendency towards indeterminacy. The shaking of beliefs and aspirations acquired during the process of allocation and knowledge refining.

The true test of creativity was to see myself as an alternative to reality, as a result of increasing the value of a thought that, by not recognizing its own limits, fascinates through the labyrinthine interpretations of creative experiences.

Many days have passed without me finding answer to questions that worried me. Unceasing, I was immersed in my dreams and thoughts, surrounded by the sweet heat of ecstasy and also, lastly, chained like a prisoner in the solitary of despair.

A rambling thinking, generally directed toward absolutes, inspiring little confidence, and not related to actual reality, determined me to always reach wrong conclusions. And, by analyzing them, I always discovered, like after a short snooze, something new, but inconvenient and inconclusive.

The identity I built from my attempts to get to know myself was the condition of my existence to transform into a destiny specific to those who embrace the essential content of an invented reality.

What interpretation could I give to these conceptual perceptions and relationships, to this strange twitching of lucidity, to these short snippets of time that completely absorbed me, to these identity spaces that kept decaying and replenishing awry, to these overtensions that often produced long electrical sparks, which seemed to ramify from the positive to the negative pole of my existence?

These overtensions propagated in the conductors of my research line, in the left and the right of my convergence point: the inability of the man inside me to get used to the tragedy of creation, that I can no longer honor the other joys of life.

Leadership: Do you start looking for an image of yourself and of the world from the point of view of building an independent reality in a plane of the expressive ways of the innovative spirit?

Pierced by a deep spirit of truth, I became more and more aware of what was happening to me: I live always watching for the next moment. More and more enigmatic, my mind was boiling with ephemeral ideas, flowing in waves one after another, by the requirements of living with shadows and grace, maladroite et imprécise.

I seemed to rationalize like old Stillman from Paul Auster’s novel, who roamed the streets easily advancing, little by little, making breaks, then getting on the move again, then stopping again, as if each step had to be balanced and measured prior of taking place the total amount of steps. And who, however, as if subjected to a conscious purpose, never managed to get out of a strictly limited area, bounded by other streets.

The significance of these brief disgressions, of these electrifying moments of my existence, which seemed to give me a touch of personality, continued to escape me. I had to think and anticipate every move I made, and always assign it a different meaning, as in an equation with many unknowns. An innovative spirit knows how to find correspondences between a conventional external reality and a personal, subjective one, in order to offer another ascended variant of its being.

But, at the same time, something inside me resisted to everything that meant change, to everything that exceeded me. I did not want to accept the uncertainty of the "unknown". These unknowns that escape any explanation reduced mandatory and essentially to my power to search and find the purpose of my existence. Above all, alchemy is nothing but an adventure chaotically set in the human existence, and, like any adventure, it is not explained, but lived.

To start looking for an image of yourself and the world from the point of view of building an independent reality means to extract from your life those meanings attributed to the relationship between what is revealed to you as the beginning of a story and what you are ready to give up to get into the skin of the character in the story.

Do you face the reality of an unleashed world? Are you anchored into a thinking routine that determines you to always reach the wrong conclusions? What interpretation can you give to those strange twitching of clarity that surround you? Do you live always looking for the next moment? Is your being able to accept any unknown?

Something must be done for everyone to change, to reinvent themselves. Some spirits, limited by the fragile shell itself, never succeed.

That is why so many companies make available their authority, energy and even the most valuable resourced for things to happen, to make it simpler for those disadvantaged by themselves or the system – thus trying to make a luxury item from leadership. But the result demonstrates more the opposite – a "cheap" art, available to all.

In reality, the leadership that these companies adopt and share is the result of misinterpretation, calculation and thinking, thus becoming the state, the hope and the constructive solutions it cultivates, something rigid, some king of hostile or totally ineffective "presence". A process that advances and takes places in an ever more arid, volcanic and barren desert, with black stones. The force of passionate calling, made by words, like a tsunami wave that changes everything on the outside, but nothing on the inside of man.

From this point of view, leadership turns into an unmanageable phenomenon. It becomes like a livable space, to be divided to new tenants – too many and too crammed into a more and more stranded space, where only items do something.

If you really want to assimilate the science of management, give up the small place where you confined yourself and extend into a larger and more comprehensive space, with panoramic views: the reality of life and resizing it through what you are and what you can be.

Leadership is the attempt to give a new name to the creation called “identity” through what you are and what you can be by representing your own world in another way of defining the meaning and milestones of existence.

Oscillations Into The Unknown are caused by your efforts to discover your true potential, by your degree of awareness and acceptance, to become responsible and independent, by keeping a certain balance in the interaction with events that happen in your life.

Let’s remember what Russian writer Maxim Gorki once said: "Among the hundreds of millions of inhabitants of the world, we see so few well-defined characters – great people."

Are you a great man or a cheap imitation of some that have excelled in leadership?

The way you contribute to creating your own identity outlines the true value of your leadership. Leadership is a field in which you develop on your own. Is up to you if you become a great leader or a trashy kitsch.


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