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People will reconsider their attitude towards your leadership, if you reconsider your attitude towards their values.
People will never follow you if you don't have a good relationship with them and if you don't exert a positive influence on them. And the advantage of being on top can turn into a big disadvantage if you don't prevent the eventual adverse reactions that may occur as a result of a general dissatisfaction due to your inefficient actions or decisions.
Lieutenant Waters in the movie „Tears of the sun (2003)" forgot for a while that leadership begins and ends with who's in charge, and the one who disregards people's values will be despised. His mission of safely escorting Dr. Kendricks from the International Red Cross to the Alpha retirement area got complicated when, at her insistence, he accepted to take more Nigerian refugees. The elite troops of General Mustafa Yakubu were following their track, only a few kilometers away, and these refugees were "a burden much too heavy" for him and the other members of the SWAT team.
There was distrust and reluctance between the refugees and Waters from the very beginning, their attitude toward him being closed and hostile. Between their souls and his, it doesn't seem to be a single bridge over the gap.
Leadership: Is the most difficult part of the need to be accepted the "paradoxical commitment" of giving up on yourself to the use of the meaning you give to the experience of being inferior to anyone else?
Everything changed when one of the refugees saved Lieutenant Water's life. Moreover, on the serpentines, Waters realized that the contempt he showed toward them doubled their feeling of despair and bitterness. And precisely for this reason, they didn't truthfully listen to his orders and demands.
So, in order to increase his power of influence, he changed his approach. He adopted a positive attitude to their values – respect, appreciation, solidarity, patience, honor, dignity – which they deeply cherished. What does the attitude of other people indicate to you?
In a brief moment of lucidity, Waters no longer looked at himself as being a "rock" placed above people, but rather as a subject to the cause they served: equality. They were all engaged in the same struggle, because together they created a majority that wants to impose the law of the majority. He tasted the experience of being inferior to refugees only when he realized how much he owes to the fact that he was saved, how little he was in the face of a possible fatal outcome and how much his life depends on each one of them !
Leadership: Is the value of your image given by the need to build an authentic attachment to the answer of seeking your own meaning in the consciousness of a total adversity between Instinct and Reason?
Do not change the whole system, but give it a little life ! Instinct is something animalistic, based on a set of genetic rules predetermined by evolutionary adaptation, that is, the need to survive. Reason, which distinguishes man from animal, is a force that tends towards unity, and is based on the sensitive experience it intervenes to correct the mistakes of the senses.
Waters didn't treat the refugees like some "packages" that messed up his plans and which he could dispense with at any time, but as human beings, as some trusted companions, as equals, friends, engaging to take care of them and do everything possible to safely escort all of them to their destination. In turn, they changed their attitude – they collaborated with him and the other members of the SWAT team and became more active, sociable and involved.
You have to change, as Calipso said to Telemac, if you want your leadership to gain a positive sense.
For that the concrete form, in which will be the leadership carried out in the future, to be easily shaped in order to well worth your defining elements, especially the ability to react to the thoughts and feelings of others in spontaneous situations, you must remedy your ability to react to stimuli such as: internal discomfort, pain, suffering, disappointment - that you feel quite strong in certain circumstances. These are signals that discourages you to execute those behaviors generators of uncertainties and failures.
The position you assume in the midst of adverse events is an attempt to capture the image of an identity that is often emotionally involved in the behavior of a suffering person.
Not the assurance of the confirmation of your position is important in the consolidation process of the leadership, but the courageous communication, fairness, the simply twist of the key to people's hearts - left at disposal of your authority. The requirement that you impose to yourself. The awareness and polishing that supreme inner force, around which gravitates a reason, a sensitivity, a large aperture - focused against all the forms of resistance, gained by your nature in limiting circumstances, harsh, harmful, oppressive. A war cry, a suggestive call to ministry, aimed at finding those parts of you, sustainable and friendly, gone a long time ago.
The horizon of expectations, with which you look the future of your professional career, is like a computer that needs a little refreshment to function at an optimal level. For your professional survival, you do not have to change all the "system" (consisting of those two processes that communicate constantly: motivation and performance) but only to give it some life ! To have installed correctly all "drivers" and updated daily - the consciousness, values, attitude, and behavior.
As a leader, you will also have to escort the ones that you enjoy less to their destination
As a leader, you assume a difficult task. Often, you will also have to escort to destination the ones that you enjoy less, the ones that slow down your rhythm and momentum towards achieving your objectives. You don't have any other option if you're a man with a noble soul, whose feelings towards other people remained pure and strong.
Do you always want to change people as you please? Make them match your pattern? They are as they are, some individualities. They aren't some children, slaves or puppets that you can manipulate as you wish, to your heart's desire, by your own criteria and rules. They are themselves, some individuals with particular convictions, well rooted, which you can change only with tact, skill and calm. You will be able to influence them only if you reconsider your attitude toward their values.
If you don't build a bridge to connect with people around you, they will be reluctant to your points of view, to any agreement and suggestion. And your way will become more difficult.
Your duty as a leader is that of recognizing your own level of "survival" in an area in which people do not dare to judge you, but they make you understand where you are wrong.
The indicator set on Slow or Fast offers you the chance to choose the best way for your professional success. As a leader, you can hurry in order to reach your goals, thus neglecting the values, principles, ideals and beliefs of those who follow you, or you can make an acceptable detour and delay a little the process of achieving your objectives, reconsidering your attitude toward their values.
If you choose "Fast", it means that your intention is to lead people despite their own will, without giving them the opportunity to connect spontaneously to your leadership. They will live in a state of total anxiety and will seem to be pretty worried. They won't be too confident in your abilities to lead them.
If you choose "Slow", you will be able to easier exert your influence on them. You will treat them with consideration, admiration and respect – which will strengthen your relationship with them. You will never forget about their feelings and you will never neglect your role.
Conclusion: The leader has to contribute to the development of an appropriate organizational culture. The rhythm adopted by the leader largely depends on the collective and the existing level of the organizational culture and the people's professionalism and proficiency.
A brisk start on "the short way" might be a failure if the collective doesn't "match" this way of action. That's why a leader must know, depending on the people he leads, what tactics to approach and what rhythm and paths to follow.
A leader must be familiar with "the Human Resources" that he has available.
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