Neculai Fantanaru

Everything Depends On The Leader

The Principle Of Fruition

On January 26, 2010
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Leadership Principles by Neculai Fantanaru

For a relationship to be long-lasting, it must bare fruits at the right time.

We only get contrition when we do something wrong. The bigger the wrongdoing, the more our inner self suffers. In the worst case, if the mistake we made is to severe, we risk paying a very high price. It is clear as daylight that the famous proverb "one learns from mistakes" doesn't make any sense if we get to the point in which we can't change anything anymore. Thus, for things to always be as we want them to be, positive and nice, we must avoid making major mistakes. Or we may be lucky enough to meet, at the right time, a special person to save us from trouble, to prevent us from making irreparable mistakes and to guide our steps in the right direction.

Alejandro, the main character in the movie "The Mask of Zorro (1998)" was one step away from making a lethal mistake, but he was saved in the last moment by Don Diego de la Vega (Zorro). He was at a table, drunk, when he saw captain Harrison Love, the one who had killed his brother. Without thinking too much, overwhelmed by an unlimited madness, he took the sword, got up from the table and jumped on him.

He was lucky enough that Don Diego de la Vega suppressed the bad impulse coming from his heart and prevented him from fulfilling his plan, otherwise he would have been killed and nobody could have avenged his brother's death.

Leadership: Is your reaction to the duality that tests you in moments of doubt a representation of your situation in a context of accepting random circumstances?

Long-lasting relationships bare fruits at the right time. Just like Alejandro, who wanted to avenge his brother's death, Don Diego de la Vega wanted to avenge the death of his beloved wife, Elena. Neither of them could have achieved their goals should they act on their own. Don Diego de la Vega, wiser and more skilled, proposed to Alejandro a collaboration and only thus he would succeed in avenging his brother. Alejandro accepted and, soon, they grew into a very strong friendship.

But did they met by accident or not? What would have happened if, say, Don Diego de la Vega had met Alejandro five years earlier? Or maybe five years later? Or what would have happened should only one of them had needed the other, and the other one hadn't?

Well, most certainly things would have been completely different. But they met at the exactly at the right time, when each of them needed the other. Thus, they were prepared to communicate well, they trusted each other and they could fulfill their goals. The reward for their alliance was sortable. In other words, "they sew" the seed called collaboration and harvested "the fruit", unfortunately, called revenge.

Duality is the conflict between the negative and the positive that occurs when you have to make a pressing decision in unexpected circumstances. First, you reject your qualities by comparing them with those of others, then you become aware of your own qualities and as precisely as possible tell yourself of the system of values to which you relate so that you are confident that a particular mission really suits you in order to fulfill it.

Sure enough, life beats the movie. In real life, things are not at all different from the way they happened in "The Mask of Zorro (1998)" , only the story and time are different. Always, the best relationships are the result of two or more persons' devotion short of selfishness in view of fulfilling a common goal.

Leadership: Does the way you integrate a fragile personal experience within a supportive framework, change the optics through which you relate to others in a mode of inferiority or superiority?

Coincidences are not at all by chance. When you set yourself a higher goal and wait for something good to happen, surprisingly, all sort of events happen to lead you to the right direction. Sure enough, exactly at the right time, you will meet the right person to help you fulfill your goals and, by the help you will offer at in exchange, you will help them fulfill their goals. Just as Brian Tracy, one of the most famous lecturers and personal and professional development consultants, once said, in most cases, coincidences are not at all by chance. Every aspect of life is just as it should be.

I believe that every human relationship, in order to develop and resist in time, must be made at the right time. Not at all before that. That is when two or more persons are emotionally prepared to start a collaboration relationship, when they unite their efforts in order to achieve a common goal, when they have one direction. Relationships that are born quickly, but don't stand on a common basis they quickly consume and die. They are not continuous and long-lasting as they should be.

A collaboration relationship is hard to establish and hard to keep if two or more people don't have anything in common. The nature and the purpose of the relationship are those determining its durability. Most certainly, all human relationships' characteristic is the engagement of two or more people, right from the start, to help each other, in view of achieving their common goals.

But whenever you integrate a fragile personal experience within a supportive framework, the optics through which you relate to others change. You can relate in a mode of inferiority by putting your dignity before your feelings and before making any decisions. Or you can relate in a mode of superiority by giving up actively receiving learning experiences and providing feedback of the type "thank you, but I haven’t asked anything of you", to friendship suggestions.

Leadership is a way to express your attitude of superiority through an assumption of inferiority when you have to earn a learning experience.

P.S. Only the people who have a clearly defined goal and are willing to make everything in order to achieve it will meet, at the right time, the one trustworthy person, willing to collaborate with them and support them in everything they attempt. Or, as Don Diego de la Vega said, "When the student is ready, the teacher will come".

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