Neculai Fantanaru

Everything Depends On The Leader

The Principle Of Selective Acceptance

On February 02, 2011
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Leadership Principles by Neculai Fantanaru

Accept the others in your life and you will discover your bright side.

He knew only one thing to do, but he did it better than anyone: to kill. Like any professional killer, Leon didn't belong anywhere and to anyone. He was a fugitive, a pretty clever one, in fact; one which didn't know how affection feels like; or loyalty, he had no background, goal or aspiration in his life, he had nothing. He only knew how to listen his adoptive father, Tony, a mobster who gave him all sorts of missions. But the more he enjoyed success in his job – the more he fulfilled, the more missions, the more he ran away farther, the less he accepted himself and the more he was cheerless, out of humor and indifferent to his life and his future.

As I mentioned in the previous article, Leon's Ivory Tower , from the moment Leon "adopted" Mathilda, his life took another turn. He was no more the lonely, solitary, devoid of feelings and desires, but he acquired a new personality. He became more open minded, sociable, communicative and even romantic, able to appreciate more the people and the things around him.

Leadership: Should the validation of your hidden feelings succeed the validation of the continuity of keeping a habit that limits you?

The boldness of discovering yourself is the vital force that assures your continuity in making decisions and acting in a spirit of harmonious integration into an existence that depends on affirmation of attachment and human care.

In the novel "Shantaram", the author Gregory David Roberts said a big word, which in Pashto means: "You're no man until you really and without constraint give your love to a child. And you're no good man until you win the sincere love of a child."

Leon found in Mathilda what he didn't find anywhere else. He found a bit of dreaming, a drop of love, a little peace of mind. The moments spent with the girl made his heart feel the state of fulfillment and unconditional love. His bright side woke up to life.

Without any constraint, opening his soul to this child, Leon went to Tony, the one who managed his money, and asked him to donate it to Mathilda, in case something ever happened to him. Here's the definite proof of his kindness. Here's the proof that anyone can change and become better, if that person is open and willing to accept the others in his life.

Leadership: Do you act according to a creed that announces its presence in a balance of stability in all the conditions of exploiting the experience of creating a new world?

The world to which you contribute to beautify with details of your hidden personality, without behaving by assuming the "suffering" of neglecting your power of authority, must be the result of a quantitative and qualitative balance between what defines and what inspires you.

You surely remember the famous story "Beauty and the Beast", don't you? Bell spent hour over hour reading to the Beast, teaching it how to properly eat, dance, etc. Slowly, the Beast got to resemble more and more with human beings. It learned what kindness, generosity, tenderness, humility and gratitude means. And, by falling in love with her, by her bright side, the spell was broken – The Beast turned into a very handsome and loving prince.

The impact that other people have on you is crucial. Leon, as the Beast, turned into another person, a better and more generous human being. He also managed to overpass his complexes – due to his cheerless nature and to his job. Thus, he felt that he really existed and that he can have feelings toward other people. He got to discover himself and his bright side. He assigned a new meaning to his life – in order to meet his bright side. (But if the Beast's transformation was complete. Leon's was only partial, as he remained a killer with… a good soul.)

Glory is the addiction to forming yourself as a spiritual, thinking, and moral being, in the favorable conditions of victory in the struggle with what you have ingrained within you.

The most important thing in your life is for you to discover that you can be a man with outstanding qualities and moral values, and not one with flaws and with no qualities. You must be optimistic and think positively. Do not let yourself be dominated by the chaos that flaws produce in your soul and your mind !

Accepting yourself is a positive element; it means discovering and always seeing the bright side of things. It means entering in harmony with your own "universe" and accepting the bright side of others' universe. It means living your life without manifesting any kind of antipathy toward anyone, even if you don't fully-agree with them.

The principle of selective acceptance refers to the acceptance of those bright sides in people that promote their development and progress.

Definitely, the old saying "know thyself and you will be able to meet the other" has a significance that many know, but few understand. It is essential for a leader to know the people he works with, to discover their bright sides and potential and to develop that desire of perpetual improvement.

In order to do that, he must firstly know himself. Of course, the leader's success also depends on other factors, such as his educational, cultural, IQ level, etc.

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