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The Unseen Side of Leadership

On April 17, 2019, in Leadership Q2-Sensitive, by Neculai Fantanaru

The turning points when a destabilization of the Ego can occur can occur more often as the process of creation of your art is closer to perfection.

Cella Serghi is the writer who cannot forget her past so deepened in the work of other writers around her. So well she expresses her feelings about them, that is, as the pleasant or unpleasant ones predominate, that it is difficult for us to make an opinion about the way in which her mind protects itself from the things it is not ready to accept. In her memoirs we find the writer Mihail Sebastian, whom Cella feels not only enormously attracted to, but saddened by his way of giving himself to a writer’s activity that will mark her destiny:

What really excites us in the light of the tragic end of Mihail Sebastian, are the pages where he dwells on Proust’s death. So much lacks even the shadow of premonition, the vague uneasiness of his own destiny in everything he writes about the death of the French writer that these lines make him feel more alive. The word “death” he pronounces so often gives them a strange surplus of life. Line after line, with exceptional possibilities of analysis, detailing the various compartments of correspondence, with a love for truth that is in line with his Proustian passion and his talent. Mihail Sebastian will show all the paradoxes in Proust’s literary destiny.

What helps Cella Serghi define herself as a writer of great talent, which provides her with interesting answers regarding her personality which suffers from the pain of separation from her loved ones, the pain of a wound that cannot be healed, is the determination to suppress her desires rejected by a too agitated, too ephemeral existence, too narrow to the grandiose requirements too high for a being of her kind. Practically, following the destiny of other writers in her entourage, she becomes a witness to a grandeur that ended before ever seeing the light of day.

Leadership: Can you share your rare experience of experiencing a story through images without becoming part of a character who is complacent in an existence independent of one’s own will?

The idea that a work that is long-lasting is never over, makes Cella Serghi an unhappy judge of her own creation. If the author of the “Bach Music Concert” sparks a spontaneous redaction, depending on the dynamic interior springs, feverish, Cella Serghi always re-assesses herself, working out the details, taking it all in, reorganizing the construction of her novels from one edition to the next.

I have always refreshed Cartea Mironei to answer the questions that were asked at the time and are still being asked today. I browsed through dozens of notebooks looking for the thread that binds the destinies of my heroes, I rebuilt the paths that I have followed in my search. I accept myself from the perspective of what I have experienced outside of myself because I have managed to survive through everything they have gone through, from pleasure to pain, through a sovereign magnificence to the experiences I have allowed to spread at will before my eyes, so that I could create as many support points as I can for my soul.

To experience everything outside of yourself is to relate to the reality of people who are experiencing impetuous tendencies to explain life, outlining their psychic and emotional portraits on account of such profound themes as “Light and Darkness”, “Forgiveness or Forgetfulness”. Cella Serghi has strong words to say about her heroes’ destinies, but lets us understand that she is not the architect of their destiny.

This is what it means to be a true artist: to be credible through what you create, but at the same time to not let it be understood that the events you coordinate on the artistic plane happen at your will.

Leadership: What significance can you give to your existence between an emotional weakness (the art of accepting yourself from the perspective of what you experience outside of yourself) and a discouragement that you have to get rid of (the feeling that everything will end) ?

Cella Serghi does not seem to live only for her life and work, but for the notoriety of those who have contributed to her achievement, a post-mortem notoriety. The confrontation of its old values with the spirit of sacrifice of the writers who had the courage to express during the war the high ideals of freedom and union that still animated the souls of Romanians everywhere, is the very dream of an unrivaled life, the dream of an ideal world. A dream that seems to be replaced with a bitter tear: the act of experiencing a Kafkaesque reality in which people wish for their death rather than suffering.

We may be tempted to believe that Cella Serghi manages to live her troubled youth giving only one meaning to her existence: to proclaim the creative triumph of the writer who has learned the gift of words and high senses precisely in the presence of death. You can feel in her that tragedy of a person who is constantly traveling away from the past, but she is always crying because everywhere she has to go, she has to play the role of a leading actor on a small, improvised stage, where the tension is more and more acute, the world following her every gesture commemorating the heroes that are almost forgotten.

An artist struggles with a cruel illness: the sin of the remorse of being alive. In the end, it is also a kind of representation of the immortal genius condition, a lasting breath that animates the artist to taste the cup of a new victory against the leakage of time, a dependence on the unpenetrated infinity of the original reality, but also an immersion in the work of a painter who plays with color and shape somewhere on the border between figurative and abstract.

In it there is a destabilization of the Ego because she is incapable of reacting in a certain way to the events already happening, she hurts deeply from everything beautiful she experienced or everything that clouded her aspirations towards a better world. Still, she feels able to interpret someone else’s role by understanding her own role and the limits in which she must fit and act.

In her memoirs, Cella Serghi approaches perfection through an approach to the image of an artistic consciousness in the form of a theoretical consciousness of the tragic, torn from an embrace that smells of death. One single meaning can be attributed to such an atypical existence on all the planes of a terminal confession of a symptomatic character: that of a tendency to reject change, because it is more painful than death. She has the power to live in the present only because she relates to the past.

Leadership: Does your slipping to the margins of individuality encounter an opposite force from the challenge of truly knowing yourself as being a master of passions that seem irreversible?

The relationship between the nature of man and his destiny, which Cella feels after the deterioration of the Ego captured between the ephemeralness of life and the eternity of death, ensures a perfect correspondence between the approaches and the consequences experienced at a time of remembrance when the only thread of light that passes through from the troubled flame of war was the dream of building a story of a spirit of finesse, of a sensible intellect, traveler through time.

Memories are painful not because they make you feel alone, but because you are expecting that nothing will change in your current situation.

Cella Serghi tries in her memoirs to explore the most sensitive areas of the human being, thereby showing that she is the master of any activity of emotion that “puts the world between brackets”, this seating herself as a reference pillar in psychology and cognitive science, in the reception and the artistic understanding of educational life experiences, enhancers of meaning and inspiration.

I also tend to believe that in her individuality, the active manifestation of personal freedom to think and feel according to the needs, inclinations, interests, and abilities of her heroes is the satisfaction of being alive while all of them have gone, leaving only memory and inspiration.

If you want to permeate that inner necessity that reflects your will and your power to self-define and to rise to your aspirations, which constrains you to freely and arbitrarily choose between the possibilities of the force of change, return to the the stage of your evolution up to the beginning, without anchoring yourself in the shadow of what you were.

Evaluate your past and the origins you struggle to conceal, and build your present around a central pivot of well-maintained objectives in the consecutive field of positive forces. Your slip to the edges of individuality will encounter an opposite force from the pain of knowing yourself to truly be a master of passions that seem irreversible, as a result you will experience a life of refuge, a world beyond books, greater emotional wear, an uncontrollable state of anger and sadness.

The triumph of manifesting a full and lasting identity is the art of accepting yourself from the perspective of what is happening to you when you judge and feel through the prism of what allow to be seen behind you.

The Unseen Side Of Leadership has as a correspondent the desire to experience a new artistic approach to feel, follow, interact and connect with everything and everyone around you without giving a tragic sense to your existence, without abandoning yourself to a story that overwhelms you through its fatidic character.

* Note: Serghi, Cella - On The Spider's Thread of Memory, Polirom Publishing House, 2013.


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