Neculai Fantanaru

Everything Depends On The Leader

Complete Power To Influence

On March 26, 2009
, in
Leadership Y4-Titanium by Neculai Fantanaru

Reduce the tendency for people to orient in a wrong direction by helping them to clarify their feelings, motivations and aspirations.

At the beginning of the movie "Meet Joe Black (1998) " there is a discussion between Bill Parrish, general manager of Parrish Communications, and his small daughter, Susan. Bill was not only a strong, erudite and intelligent leader, but also a man of great spiritual sensitivity. He did not want his little fear to turn into reality. His thinking was clearer than that of Susan, who was still quite young and careless in order to assess her real values and beliefs.

Susan wanted to marry her boyfriend Drew, but Bill sensed that between the two of them, there was not that enthusiasm, that passion characteristic of people in love. He gives Susan a piece of advice: "Do not listen to your mind, but follow your heart."

Leadership: Can you assess people’s true values before changing them, bringing to the forefront of your attention the strengthening of their attitude toward choices that qualify as “a manifestation of slightly exaggerated affectivity”?

This discussion between Susan and Bill had a positive effect because it led to clarifying her feelings, and a thorough understanding of her own emotions and thoughts. Bill's counsel had the power to determine Susan to come to herself, and to separate from what does not match her true feelings.

This is an eloquent example of how a leader manages to influence people. A good leader acts with the people around him just as acted Bill Parrish with his daughter. He gets involved in helping others, without becoming "disturbed". A leader does not penetrate into the private lives of other people in any way to denote disrespect that would put him in a bad light, or that would degrade in any way his image. He manages to diminish people’s impulse to orient in the wrong direction, redirecting their motivations and aspirations to an ideal that correspond to their true values and feelings.

To guide people in a different direction from theirs, means being able to discern what they feel, to assess the true values and beliefs, to know where their attention goes, where they channel their energies, and to help them clarify their feelings, motivations and aspirations. If the most precious values of people are affectivity, material comfort and religious faith, and in the last places social recognition, friendships, good reputation and performance, then the leader must find a balance between protecting these values and promoting them, without arousing a defensive reaction from anyone.

Leadership: Has the sum of all your beliefs and convictions been formed as a result of self-recognition within the perimeter of a deep relationship between the power to be heard and the need to create a favorable image?

Leadership is influence. Just as a Lego piece you can link only with another piece of Lego in order to frame something – so your thoughts and feelings must be first bound to those of people around you that you might, afterwards to redirect their perceptions into the direction you want. But even more important is the self-recognition produced in the perimeter of the relationship between the power of being heard and the image you show to the world, so that what reflects the aspects of existence that you ascend to a level of wisdom is supported by the small victory of faith not to give in to external pressures.

The only way to lead people into a new direction is to anchor them in your thinking, in your feelings and perceptions. This anchorage is like a blessed shelter that removes any doubt to people on the choices they make, protecting them of unhealthy thinking. And this shelter, which must meet both your beliefs and theirs, need to fulfill them certain needs or desires, not to turn into a trap from which they cannot escape.

Just as a company has no place in a market in which it cannot be the best - so your intentions to change the perceptions of people do not belong if they are not the best and the most honest. It is always difficult (and also risky) to trust a man whose values and beliefs are much different from yours, or if they draw away from the ethics that they comply and follow.

After what has been said so far conclude that complicated recognition itself is formed from the equation “listen to your heart before listening to your mind” considering that repeated experiences that affect your moods depend less on professional life, and more on that invigoration of the idea of “confession of sincerity” that takes place before a favorable decision is made.

In leadership you must learn to assume the power to make yourself vulnerable without being hurt, and to cultivate the power to recognize that the need to link the fragile part of your personality to the approval of others varies according to your efforts of reminding yourself how strong you are.

The Complete Power To Influence is the ability of the leader to get a positive response from people consisting in changing and reorienting of their thinking and feelings towards (and concordantly) with an objective reality. Percentage that guarantees access to their system of values and beliefs, and that gives you authority over them, will increase significantly if you only manage to convince them that your decisions will bring them a hope for better, peace of mind, and professional success. Do not allow people to acknowledge themselves defeated by a thinking based on some feelings that will evaporate over time, to instill them a new winning spirit in a way that you could also take advantage.

Conclusion: The power of influence is a true science of manipulating people's emotions and interests. However, it requires a good knowledge and a good interpersonal communication with people you interact with.

The question is whether this manipulation is beneficial. The answer is positive only when the goals are noble, when the benefit is for all people involved in a situation.

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