How Vivid Are My Memories Of Him !

The life of each of us has the dimension of a destiny that must be led to fulfillment in a novel of profound, affectionate and resounding experiences.

We walked a lot, walked side by side, stuck to one another, as we used to, when we did not want to break up and did not have the courage to confess our thoughts, did not have the courage to stop.

Do you ever heal yourself from a great love, I wondered? Does a new love not come upon the one that burns under its own ashes and refuses to die off completely and does not allow you to fully die?

Near a group of rowdy young people, Camil showed me a skinny, blonde girl with wavy movements.

- Look, that’s how you used to be. Your hair smelled of ripe wheat and sunshine.

- They are the post-war generation; we are the one before.

- There are only ten years between us.

- The war will always separate us.

- It’s like a line from a play. The line that ends the play, Camil said.

It’s the dialogue and line that end the novel Genţiane, a book I did not know I was about to write, which Camil will not read, just as he will not read Agata’s Letters to Cirus Hotaru. I found them in a notebook, the notebook Camil had given me forty years ago, and they were addressed to him.

Would Camil recognize himself in Cirus Hotaru? Would he like the character? Would he be angry or smile with a hint of sadness, affectionate, disobedient? It is a question I cannot answer.

When the novel came out, Camil had died. But how alive he is in my memories ! With how much force he lives in the characters, in his work ! And how well he knew that “the existence of death compels us to give our lives a meaning that death cannot take away.”

Can your leadership be perceived more as “exploitation” or as a “remember” in terms of a life that seeks to alert you to the story of an implacable destiny?

Under any circumstances, a person has to feel that the intervenient is the molder of his destiny and that the much wanted happiness, his positive state of being, can't be achieved otherwise than after conquering every obstacle that life in its complexity incessantly throws in front of him. In the case of Cella Serghi, for whom life deserved to be lived intensely by remembrance of some dear memories, the intervener was Camil Petrescu, a writer whose work marked her deeply.

The opinion of a great Romanian writer, Lucian Blaga, is valid: "Many times it is our duty to see the colors darker than they really are. Because from this sight, a more decisive fight for the greater good will arise."

But in life's game of shadows and lights, black shouldn't be the predominant color, neither should white; more likely it should be a scarlet red that doesn't fade, bursting with force in every moment, retreating regularly, same as sunshine and sunset, both being equally beautiful, they meet and complete each other in harmony.

A life that tries to point out the story of an implacable destiny is the result of the experiences of a person living in the sphere of society with the feeling of not being able to do more to change something in the order of things and happenings.

Your leadership can be perceived more as"exploitation" if your relation with the people you lead isn't at a loss, which means it's appropriate to the type of result both parties want to reach. In this case, life must not appear as a consequence of deeper emotionality associated with a certain “frustration or loss” type of vulnerability, but as a target of resistance to an adverse destiny.

Or, it can be perceived as “remember” if you fail to cultivate the virtues that outline the new man, if everything you do for the exteriorization of the personality of those with whom you interact does not materialize in a great deed. Thus, your leadership becomes faint, disappears, or in the best case scenario it remains "petrified", it lingers there, it waits without result for an answer.

Can you endure the format of the image of a destiny seen as a consequence of some life situations that overwhelm your Ego in the face of pains that seem hard to overcome, but in such a way that the interpretation you give to those situations acquires the meaning of a creative act?

Does the wall that shapes your personality start shaking? Are there forms of distrust and protest growing within you? Do your characteristic constants seem to dissipate when they meet the separation area between the two poles: negative and positive? Can you escape from the abysmal-immutable state that torments you? Can you totally transform the excessive X-reactant that during your negative reaction tends to deplete your resources?

Inevitably, a leadership filled with hidden vices has a major impact on all aspects involved in the development process of people – resources, time, interactions, reactions, effects, perceptions, adjustments, determinations, warnings, and multiple and various satisfying experiences. This kind of leadership concerns more and more that group of leaders who invest in a "land" that can't be sold, but from which you can take off to the final destination: excellence. This land is ideal for understanding people as dual beings, trapped between two spaces: interior and exterior.

The excellence of a man who recovers from the opposite effects of his life and his destiny is closely related to the projection of an idealized reality that time will not wash away.

Leadership, in view of how behavior affects an individual or a social group's welfare reflects, with a higher or lower intensity, upon the intervenient's efficiency and capacity to tolerate things. Him, the main participant to human evolution, has the ability to introduce the demand to adopt some measures, be them temporary, that would impose reciprocity, a game in two, group thinking, guaranteeing a functionality of his new teammate in various stages of the rehabilitation and development process.

The great changes in the social and personal life of a man subject to transformation from the first moments when the intervenient conceives his own methods to change, up to his last breath, when the harmony of his leading factors is perturbed – it can lead to something immediate, useful, constant, extremely encouraging and satisfying for both sides. Or, on the contrary, they can lead to immediate effects that become transitory in time, even disappointing.

The task that charges leadership aims at deepening the human dimension following the consequences of life experiences accumulated as a result of the “fleeting” condition in a world that is experiencing its joys, but also assumes the drama of resignation and fatalism.

How Vivid He Remains In My Memories marks that intimate, spiritual faculty of man to link the present to the past, becoming a reflection to link the present action of the future into a life that demands its right to longing, tribute and remembrance.

* Note: Serghi, Cella - On The Spider's Thread of Memory, Polirom Publishing House, 2013.