Neculai Fantanaru

Everything Depends On The Leader

Ordinary World (I)

On October 30, 2017
, in
Leadership sX-Experience by Neculai Fantanaru

Learn to discover the world you live in, giving it the sense of "inner experience" through a voiceover.

I started this strange game of search, waiting and programming of events that should have happened to me, extended to exasperation by the painting of an ordinary world, because a high contrast reason that concealed its fault: between madness understood as a rebellion and out of the usual patterns of thinking. "I won’t cry for yesterday."

It was an opportunity to exploit one’s own memory, a culmination of searching for lost sight and retrieving inner gaze, of what is not said but feels like a complete overwhelming, is transmitted as a divine grace that is charm and poison at the same time, for with them and their content old wounds are cleaned and life is revealed. "I learned to survive."

Same thing now. Often, thinking about what to do the next day, I end up always turning back and facing what I feel in relation to what happens to me when everything is questioned, fighting, adventure, meditation, running, blind escaping, under the care of a God who does not cease to marvel at the capabilities with which he himself endowed me. The beauty of this frontier phenomenon between heaven and earth, between psychology and faith, is flawless, even if the beauty of a painting and the atmosphere it emanates around it is superior.

Though spoiled in a positive sense by this great senior who balances the good, in the form of a rapprochement with spiritual concerns, a state that psychologists call reverie, a necessity that the French call Reconnaissance, a quality that sculptors call the "movement" of the immobile form, I try to distinguish myself fundamentally from the idea of continuous renewal of life and to pas under the suborder of another mystery called: the present moment. "What has happened to it all? Crazy someone say."

Leadership: Must you go through the testing phase of a reality that exceeds you through its complexity, to help understand the concept of "circumstances" that guide your conception of a higher calling?

You cannot participate in a contest of circumstances, with all your tendencies to undermine the rules of the game by prolonging a mystery of divinity, a thrill of an unknown feeling, forbidden and suspicious, rather than plunging into an empty space. Where the idea of a "déjà vu" would work, given by the brain’s reaction in the face of new and intense experiences that you have never before experienced.

He left me in the vacuum of my heart, especially if I admit that His infinite power, a reality for which I am not prepared to accept completely, hides the tendency of an unbearable uncertainty, including regarding a particular super solicitation of philosophical orientation in the critique of reason that I chose as a milestone, accepted as an art work and almost on the point of being sold for scrap iron.

Living in a sea of uncertainty means thinking about one question from different perspectives and giving a response that does not clarify anything or does not continue to reverberate with you with infinite force.

And when everything is in the form of a game, a suspicion of a lack of courage to look at reality in the face, as when you are looking for something impossible to predict, after betraying the science of impulses to exaggerating feelings, beyond any limits, the outcome lies in "hunting" details that transform you in a nonconformist and also hesitant guy.

Your aspiration to understanding reality is the manifestation of "I am" directed towards things holy, which makes you recognize that often the answer to the obvious questions is not the assumed one.

I was different than the events of life predicted, upon which I built myself a history, a gallery of paintings where there are few original and many copies. The strongest thoughts in the replies, in the order of relevance and quality promoted by the acceptance of a situation without the knowledge of the hidden details, focused in a direction parallel to the horizon of a world dominated by the maneuvers of decisions made with haste, and afterwards regretted. "Somehow I have to find what I do not know where to look."

The dimension that limited me, which belonged to my level of communion with God, that voiceover, seemed to be especially designed for deception, an epic ambition advancing at random, without a precise meaning, creating confusion at a level of needs, expectations, emotions, a multitude of effects, from the most natural to the most extravagant bows and traits of my flesh.

It is clear that I was not ready to come face to face with the truths outlined around an interrogation of the type "Where is the life that I recognize?", just because I thought myself fit for another determination of my position in relation to the alternative ones, not necessarily in absolute value. A thrill of transcendence. Finally, another name for the tenacity of the will to live, the sense of failure or unfulfillment of Revelation, exactly as implied by the need to add to it an area that many call "the end of the world" or "the spiritual path" towards those visible only by the senses, and not by reason.

The most supreme call of all, like the happiness that life puts in our way, but one we often detour, has the particularity of being the quintessential of many voices saying "I’m not here", but to which we cling hopefully in the name of a positive energy meant to direct us in a bright direction.

The essence that makes you unique is the call that you assume in achieving a higher level than yourself, whose aim is to discover the world you live in to which you should give the sense of "inner experience" through a voiceover.

Ordinary World gains the meaning of listening to the "parties" involved in your knowledge and feeling, and later receives a large extension in the area of life with intensities varying according to your level of perception of everything that comes from a God who seems absent in the palpable reality.

* Note: Duran Duran - Ordinary World

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