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The Light From The Mysterious Depths Of Darkness

On July 24, 2012, in Personal Development, by Neculai Fantanaru

Strengthen the bridge between self-knowledge and your potential, in order to perfect your identity.

Sometimes, in the middle of my active existence and animated by the most daring dreams, it produced a fissure. I was suddenly falling into a state of anxiety. I could not get rid of a deep conviction, carefully hidden: that everyone else around are superior to me. I considered myself a big nobody, a fiasco of divine authority, a man suspended by an oscillating ideal, sentenced to gather once again and again the wasted energies of a bygone world.

I shuddered, trembled; I turned my mind on all sides, walking from here to there like an addict, like a man out of mind, as I have received the terrifying commandment to become the slave of a strange passion that looked in all manners of ways to get me away from what I could really be.

My sense of inferiority was understandable, but so hard to bear as a boulder pressing my whole being. I was slipping down more and more up to self-disgust, like a helpless devoid of any leading idea and sense of direction. I was always the last to all, le dernier des hommes. I hugely despised myself. Held prisoner in a relatively narrow space, tied by the rope of the most exhausting trials. Like being punished for an action of that I was not guilty, I carried in vain the stone of my fate irony, each time heavier, like Sisyphus, ignoring crossing the same route, the same destiny.

Leadership: Do you understand the overall image of the area that forms from the need to be the sole author of a path that excludes any possibility of control from outside the "immediate"?

I still considered an inexplicable privilege that I could not sense anything of myself. I could not understand what was so brilliant in some people. How they succeeded, and I do not? I could not lie to myself. I could not pretend to be someone else, rivaling with others. The area in which I developed belonged to pain, fairly persistent, of not being part of the miracle called "meaning", without taking into account the qualities that I had not yet discovered within myself and which could have transformed me immediately into a dominant character.

I became much more aware of what I gained from these turns of my life - the contact with a form of understanding my Ego, more demanding, more incisive, more objective. The "immediate" was that form of breaking away from the past, so that I could be present in the consciousness of the moment of the experience of using favorable circumstances for change, without keeping in mind the traces of the impression I had experienced long ago.

In all those heavy moments, but useful, I had the opportunity to compare what I am, with the final result, what I could be. The finding was obvious: in the mysterious and dark depths of my own being, still, were to be found the necessary tools to produce the spark that could ignite the torch of the most incredible comebacks.

I had the sensation that the more I insisted to get closer to whom I can really be, with so much more I got away of myself. It was a kind of asymmetry between the two sides of me that enveloped my existence: Ego and Non-Ego, reality and pain, self-knowledge and perfection.

I came back on the right path, understanding that the two sides of me were inseparable, and complemented each other. I learned to know myself better. To reveal many wounds, but also many talents. Was it really the first step towards achieving perfection?

Leadership: Do you have to step away from yourself in order to create the perspective of a total recognition in a context such as "conquering your own individuality in relation to others" which is required to be reduced to a single constant called "image multiplication" ?

If you want to achieve something valuable, leadership can become your reliable aid. However, the success in leadership does not come all at once. It comes with small steps, as you rediscover yourself and come to maturity. And these two constants, subordinate to your character, are manifesting only when those «fissures» in your life appear. When you are slipping down more and more up to self-disgust. When you are filled with a sense of inferiority, which urge you to reflection.

Leadership is based on understanding your own defense system against the unseen enemy "conscience" which can accept or not your state of weakness induced by the diminution of your trust reserves. To step away from yourself in order to create the perspective of your own recognition in a context of the type "conquering of one’s own individuality in relation to others", actually means to cancel any attempt of being the same man up to that point and realize that nothing will ever be the same.

The multiplication of personal image derives from the acceptance you give to the obligation of being yourself in a context of recognition that is late in manifesting itself. This means to capture yourself in the display of strength of two rival identities: one that is based on the opinions of others, and another that subverts any attempt of the past of making yourself one with it.

Leadership: Can what was challenging to gain access to it will be later be more easily accessed as your consciousness expands its perceptions towards a rise that does not know the monologue?

The future of leadership is born today from a deeper understanding of your own being and of the way you relate to your natural state of development. Therefore, it will look mostly the way you meet it, the way you configure it in the moments when the two parts of yourself are interrelated and influence each other. The first part leads you to blame yourself and to judge your Ego, to get away from yourself. The second one will jump to help you in times of unrest, when you will compare what you are, with the final result, which you could be.

Leo Tolstoy illustrated this point of view in his memoirs, by saying "The most important event in the life of a man is when he becomes aware of his Ego; the consequences of this event may be the most beneficial or the most terrible ones."

The genius of a man, who aspires to perfection, consists in the faculty to understand everything, to resolve all contradictions that occur in his life, between Ego and Alter-Ego. The monologue you must avoid at all costs is that lonely attempt to constantly excuse yourself from the accusations you bring to yourself by failing to turn two entities into one that will represent you anywhere.

By not becoming aware of your ego is like getting into a car that will not start, but nevertheless, you insist to put your seat belt. Basically, you are standing at a point where the meaning of your life does not get any response, still feeding you with the hope that you are safe, and you will ultimately succeed to head into what will be advantageous for you.

Do you find your safety in a utopian way of saving whenever you cannot dominate an inner conflict? Are you slipping down more and more up to self-disgust, like a helpless devoid of any leading ideas and sense of direction? Or, you insist more to get closer to who you can truly be?

Strengthen the bridge between self-knowledge and your potential in order to perfect your identity.

Identity is a constant of the type "total acceptance" inscribed in a context of recognition of personal value that arises with the passage from a small and superficial Ego to a solid and radiant self-consciousness.

The light from the mysterious depths of darkness brings into focus that essential part of the process of self-discovery and perfection which supports the affirmation of your identity.

Just as a writer always emphasizes the particularities of his characters, which he extracts from the objective reality, and projects them beyond normal in some sort of parallel universe, in the same way and you, to realize your strengths and own limitations, you must build up the particularities that highlights you, which you can extract only from the objective reality when you cannot get rid of some harmful beliefs.

Conclusion: To perfect yourself, you must know your potential, which can be achieved only through a deep self-knowledge. Do not try to turn into someone else. But, knowing your "heritage" that God gave you, increasing it through a crafted knowledge and perseverance, you can become that special man for whom you long to the heart.

Do not forget that in you is the force that will propel you forward, in your lies the spark of performance, and of all your achievements. Not knowing this force, not recognizing it, to pass with indifference or recklessness by it, is equivalent with your social collapse...


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