Neculai Fantanaru

Everything Depends On The Leader

The Glow Of The Void In Listening

On December 23, 2016
, in
Leadership Z3-Extended by Neculai Fantanaru

Your true greatness begins where words end.

I woke up suddenly in total darkness, in the state of concealing those things committed in a disallowed manner of total freedom. My psychology no longer that of a straight line, of one path, it deepened, branched off in a profound act of probing, conceptually and creatively, as every universe branches out within new universes when a quantum measurement is made.

Everything is allowed in a world that only belongs to you, but the supreme entity of this inner world, Uroshtyam , is perceived only by entering the spiritual realm. Writer Simona Popescu most probably found herself in the same situation as me when expressing her thoughts in the novel Exuvii: “There are intellectual cries, cries that come from a delicate marrow. This is what I call Flesh. I do not separate thinking from life. With every vibration of the tongue, I go all the way back to my own thoughts within the flesh.”

My world seemed to be the memory of another world. I was experiencing the ecstasy of a knowledge determined by the presence of an existential fear in the face of the cry of triumph of darkness with which my eyes had accustomed in an attempt to explore a virtual world. Vibrant in this entire act of revelation of the self in an inert medium, cold as a tomb without end, in a case of anxiety, was that unity in diversity, in the use of the faculty of the reason of finding, after the analysis and investigation of the fact, the answers to the question: Could I unlock a perspective of the impossible I wonder?

Leadership: Can you live in the memory of another world by always feeding the Self with continuously other thoughts that continue to face realities that need to be renamed in order to be accepted as objective?

In the center of gravity of concealing those that were given to me to be discovered in the background of contradictions, in the noise of nonexistence that insistently asked for its rights, everything enrolling in a dimension of interiority and the land of immediacy was the very fact of concealing the will as a reflex of the inability to conceive an action. That unproductive drunkenness of waiting, of longing for a miracle. Of the absurd hope that, at any moment, something unexpectedly good would happen to me.

The darkness was becoming darker, on the extension of the hours of insomnia, of strenuous stops in a refusal given to action. The withdrawal into solitude, the feeling of being trapped, imposed, but also desired, on the path of wandering ghosts in the shaky waves of a revolutionary thinking. A relationship experienced with nothingness. This was also one of the thoughts that had to feed the world of the novel “Exuvii”, at least to some extent, because like the writer Simona Popescu, I was experiencing the difficulty of a world full of possibilities, with infinite directions from which I had to choose, under the constant pressure of the imperative to be supported by the illusion.

Tension always rises when you enter a state of total expectation, silent, when you basically wait to see what follows, trusting in the feeling of a moral compensation, to know how to deal with the situation conditioned by that ineffable mystery of I AM. My reality was to be renamed within the limits of the interpretation of another world: “I am one of the thin carcasses left behind by the butterflies when they come out of the pupae, one of the shrunken shells of the creatures that, growing up, are completely transformed.”

Leadership: Can you gain a deeper understanding of what you are through the experience lived through a manifestation of the inability to escape the perimeter of the void?

I crossed the worlds until I came to face a broader identity, meant to give me more prestige. The butterflies continued their thinking in the hypothesis of a more complex artist. Total transformation. Here is the state of confusion experienced by Urfé Nicholas, John Fowles’ hero, in the solitude of the darkness that tried to swallow him, around the spell of a magician that tested his patience, beliefs, and prejudices:

"Then, the tension rise. I was in a sort of expectancy. I was waiting, waiting for something. I did not know if it were to be heard, seen, or otherwise. I knew it was coming, and I tried to discover its coming. It felt that I could no longer perceive any star. Perhaps the magic made me close my eyes. There was only the void. I remember two words that Conchis probably said: glowing, listening. The glow of the void in listening, darkness, and waiting… And this sensation seemed to last forever."

The release from any constraint, from any form of limitation is in fact a journey in search of an answer towards reaching creative perfection, grounded in an answer to the question: Could I unlock a perspective of the impossible I wonder?

For the impossible, tempered by the idea of philosophy according to which "Your true greatness begins where words end", is a coming of a sensation of intense fear that is accompanied by that "Voice of Conscience" able to trigger the running in the psyche of a realistic version of representing yourself on the axis of self-surpassing.

The leader who leads through the potential of wise knowledge of the human being and life is a man who experiences, in unique moments of deep emotion and meaning, always a new side of himself, representing himself as an expression of inner struggle, a consequence of the torments he’s been through, his very unity in agreement with the psychology of "waiting in the dark", in the conditions of the void.

The process of building an Ego that wants to grow all the time and unmeasured rests with the writer’s remarkable gift of capturing very well the space and time in which he lives, in the authenticity of a world that remains extremely topical even after a certain period has passed since the crossing.

The Glow Of The Void In Listening is a parable of waiting that ends with the evolution of man. This waiting, for the departure of one’s origin, of goals and entourages, is not only a manifestation of the lucid presence of the rational over imagination, but rather a merging with the supreme Ego, with what is unlimited, ineffable, divine.

Complete freedom is the result of concealment, departure from the known world, in a period of waiting, analysis, and psychological analysis, having as a specific the discovery of a measure of human dimension in expressing the unity of self.

And this unity of self, this immense confidence in the possibilities of knowledge that succeed the unknown, the void, darkness, waiting, represents in fact that bright column from the very essence of human spirit.

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