The Tragedy Of A Destiny Which Seeks Its Old Man
Be yourself an impartial judge of what you are, in order to prove your innocence, but also the fidelity towards you and towards the people who have invested you with their trust.
Everything was stirred in her; something was ravaging like a strong gust of wind through some fallen leaves, not gathered by anyone. A deep resignation, a grain of madness shining with hatred in the suffering life’s swamp.
She put all her hope in the sheriff Ed Tom Bell, the old man. And now this one, half-closing his eyes, lifting his hat respectfully - as a sign of homage to the passed away, he met her accompanied by the unpleasant thoughts of her husband’s death, as a rival by the force of destiny.
In front of Carla Moss was standing an old man with no voice, a victim of his own incompetence, a loser in front of the opponent with big claims - the honor. An old man confused and scared of her tears, to whom he felt pain, the whole ordeal of the feeling of guilt, the immeasurable fear. That entire soul pressing, to which no forgiveness, no reconciliation with himself and with fate could not resist, could no longer disappear.
All the above and more difficult was raising the huge wall of his suffering, perhaps more pronounced than hers; any trial, always repeated to break him down was superfluous. The old Tom, now a losing being, helpless being in controlling the umbrella that the strong wind - responsibility - had given it upside down. He seemed rather ready to end up his days in place of bringing relief to the women. The words were unnecessary. The image was indescribable.
Do you dare to put yourself in front of your destiny without influencing the relationship between what you really are and the image you do not want to keep about yourself?
Nobody could tell what was happening inside him, not even himself. To figure out, you need to think about what can be crueler, face to face with what can be gentler.
The woman's eyes filled with the fear of her incurable loneliness. As a stream her tears was streaming down her cheeks. Tom Bell was like deepening in a profound contemplation, that only the sinners know it: "What have I done, O Lord?" The clogged screaming of his conscience, melted with sadness into nothingness like an ice cream cone left out in the sun. In their place making place the terrible hatred, denigration, intolerance, more and more acute towards the "Man" within him.
The destiny sought him. And found him, but not in shape, and not by his duty post. Just like a Jean Valjean in front of an impasse of destiny, doing something wrong, more and more regrettable - to Tom Bell, desperately, heart was crying: "I'm a big jerk." It seemed to him that Satan by himself had found his abode in him; a pulseless heart in a chest devoid of any spiritual appropriation. He had no power to say absolutely anything, as if ashamed of his own inhumanity.
A single thought seemed to soothe him, among the increased heart rate weakened by his own conscience, a thought of one who revives for a moment the reasoning before the big decline: "For how long will I be a part of this world?" *
How can you prove innocence before consciousness without staying witness a drama which should limit any impulses toward authoritarianism or toward greatness?
Considering the "Human within you" as a monster, as a mechanism that causes pain in the absence of a clear demarcation between your world and of others, is actually the consequence of your own existence and the existence of several factors responsible for your own evolution. These factors being differentiated between them by nature, role and your participation in the process of transforming other people with whom you interact.
What happens when you put face to face what could be crueler, with all that can gentler within yourself? Do you have the courage to put together two different camps, whose different positions are supported by conflicting arguments? What conclusion could you draw, by weighing everything carefully and impartially? Would this conclusion help you make the best choice, to distinguish what and who you really are?
In the flash manner of this turn on 180 degrees, in the motion and the measured pace of your personality’s metamorphosis - the transition from "to be" to "you should be" it isrequired to give evidence of a degree of aplomb that would favor your circumstances to reach the essence of the humanity within you. To get there where the responsibility and honor, these core players of the character who blends in one person, can be undertaken and quantified. A barely visible branch of leadership that goes on the new roads of the true self-knowledge.
If you are trying to prove your innocence to conscience, without witnessing a drama that should be the limit of any move towards authoritarianism or grandeur, you first have to form your skills to reconcile with situations in which you feel helpless. Memory and deeds are almost never erased. You must accept the situations in which you increase your solidarity towards an experience that still leaves its mark on you daily.
You cannot jump over a wall unless you accept the idea that it is there.
How is the impotence to your own person reflected by considering the reality behind the experiences that individualize you through their sharing?
A plain with a wheat field can be as beautiful as an ocean that lies beyond the horizon, but this vastness will never live up to your expectations if it does not expresses something, if it doesn't bring in the plan of consciousness new sensations and feelings, or if it isn't understood as a combination of values and visions.
To be a good man, with the finest feelings and emotions, is not enough, is not the basic criterion for becoming a leader, just as the juice may appease your thirst, but not your hunger. It is just a memento, a situation that can last relatively a little, a state of contentment that rises you up in your eyes for a moment - that can be radically transformed by a situation or by another person.
To be a good man may be also an appearance of being someone else, a deeply social being but without a solid platform (the character) to support to support its inclination to overcome adversities. Only to be a strong character, reconciled to the situation you find yourself, makes the verdict given by your own conscience to be a favorable one in relationship with your own self and with others.
Your ability to better direct you towards the human area of leadership, not to the "techno-economic" one, depends on how you react to a right or wrong imputation. First, you must prove your innocence in front of your consciousness, then to others. The participation of the "man within you" with all the defining features in this process of renewal is the first step to restore a situation such like: "Me myself" versus "They themselves".
To share your life experience with someone else, or through a twist of destiny, means to appeal to a reality that cannot hide behind the circumstances that make you a better person.
The Tragedy Of A Destiny Which Seeks Its Old Man perfectly illustrates the situation when you feel the need to ask questions, when you doubt your way of being. When you do not admire yourself and you are not admired for what you have done, a fact, which can overwhelm you in the first instance, then can attract into the more delicate circumstances - a total remorse can break your soul, and that can gradually grind your mental stability.
The destiny you will seek for you. And will always find you. But will you be in shape, will it find you present at your post? Will you have the strength of character to encounter an uncomfortable situation? Will you have the strength to rise above the great wall of regrets and remorses? Or you will say: "Enough ! I will not be a part of this world anymore ! "
Be by yourself an impartial judge of what you are, in order to prove your innocence, but also the fidelity towards you and towards the people who have invested you with their trust.
Conclusion: It is said that "who does not have old, to buy". That is to have the wisdom of the ones who smashing into the hardships of life, managed to escape from the inevitable impasses that "karma" has booked to them. To reach maturity.
There are moments in everyone's life when, looking into the mirror, or rather contemplating life, remains surprised by what he sees. Remorses, dissatisfactions with himself being unnecessary or delayed.
Therefore, each of us must be aware that he has to fulfill a duty, a responsibility towards himself and towards others, throughout life.
* Note: "No Country for Old Men (2007)"
