A Lost Lamb In The Depths Of Darkness (II)

Open up to the authenticity of experience, stimulating the capacity of placing yourself above what you do not know.

Nobody could say what’s going on inside her, but she’s terrified. She is shaking, she’s trembling, and she stumbles. She is in that stage of uncertainty that doesn’t allow the conscience to create self-control, but makes it experience unknown emotions, based on the terrible desperation, trying her more and more.

"What am I doing here alone?" It’s the only whisper she lets out in the middle of an impenetrable darkness. Where someone carefully and suspiciously observes her, like a victim of circumstances, helpless, drowned in the darkness of silence like a lost lamb in the night hours, in the waste.

Her thoughts insistently repeat, pleading for explanations and answers: "Who are you, the one looking at me with your clenched teeth? What are you thinking about?"

Clarice seems to closely experience that weird feeling, that untamable sensation, like a terrible knife stab in her heart that brings her closer to the fatality of the final sentence. Triggering a powerful disorder of her neural areas. Some kind of a weakening of her vitals. Instantaneously, she has a personality crisis. She’s not herself. Brave Clarice. But, fearful Clarice.

Can you valorize a strong character trait of yourself, generated by a superior understanding from the interior of a cause of isolation and not from outside of it?

The character of a strong man, in the major outlines of a dangerous situation, functioning based on the model of a consciousness that is its own object of research, imposes itself as a part of the tendency of getting close to the causative factor of the relationship between action and inaction.

Causality, seen as a beginning of a new rule and not as an exception to it, is the content of determination that needs to meet very specific conditions in order to happen, conditions such as: "If you’re not there at the right time… in vain you will be there some other time."

Such a man proceeds to attempt to counteract the negative effects of his phobias, shifting his attention from what he doesn’t know, towards what he does know. And vice versa. The superior understanding that isolation gives you in an unstable space, one of tensions, pressures, risks and threats, is that you are forced to rely only on yourself, without comparing yourself or competing with others, without contradictions and artificialities, without others judging you.

Because, in the context of lack of proper understanding of the situation you depend on, the question arises: what can you become if you fail to accept your purpose of balancing yourself inwardly by opening up to the authenticity of experience?

Can you feed your conscience by assuming an overwhelming reality, knowing that any attempt to prove yourself stronger requires a certain rule of choice between different emotional reactions?

A strong character trait can make room for "a way out" and can take the place of a trend of self-harm, if you know how to properly care for your own conscience and fuel it with the attempt of assuming a reality that demonstrates once again that the path you’ve taken is the best one for transitioning from one position to another. From the position of the defeated, to that of the winner.

Some emotional reactions definitely change the character of the human being: astonishment and frustration, fear or ecstasy. Be careful how you relate to them in any situation.

To value a strong character trait, generated by a superior understanding from the interior of a cause of isolation and not from outside of it, requires first of all to try out something new, with a certain risk factor, which causes the sensation of wandering and loss of self. And to not extend your state of being affected any longer, create a new trap, a new incertitude and begin to move toward it.

The biggest asset of the strong personality is the emotional reaction you have with your own life in the context of a heartbreak that should not discourage you, because through it you do not seek to be alone forever, but only for a short time and with the purpose of knowing yourself as someone else, more willing to mature through challenges, than to obey completely to the will of your surroundings.

The test of character is a spontaneous and unconventional approach to overcoming any phobia, summarized as follows: between the state of passivity and the state of determination is always the capacity of placing yourself above what you do not know.

A Lamb Lost In The Depths Of Darkness is the man who knows how to test an uncertain situation, simulating an entry into a framework full of suspense, full of emotions, to be sure he is truly ready to face the real challenges of his transformation from temptation to the impulse of creating new ways of acting.

* Note: The Silence of the Lambs (1991)