Neculai Fantanaru

Everything Depends On The Leader

Are You Sure You Didn't Forget Anything?

On April 03, 2021
, in
Leadership Y4-Titanium by Neculai Fantanaru

Try to be aware of what is really important to you, reflecting on experiences that do not have a precise meaning.

It happened a little earlier. I left the gym quite enthusiastic, my heart overriding my thoughts, avoiding any contradiction with the thinking that commits the whole chain of rational deductions. And I was thinking, and I was feeling, and I was continuing on my way, and yet something in me was constantly repeating to me: are you sure you didn’t forget anything?

Somehow, I found in my attitude the same attitude full of pulsation, of inspiration of the painter who forgets to gather his utensils after finishing the work, but still enjoys the miracle that could give him life. And so, there was no other way. I forgot something behind. The mind seemed to be focused on recognizing the main moment when the painter tries to assert himself fully in art, by expressing the dynamism of life, but is caught in the fragile fabric of a personal life story when time loses its hours and moments in the earthly register.

And time immediately spoke for itself. Quickly, with all the spirit of an invincible youth, I ran back to the gym, took my forgotten sweater. Before I left the room again, I glanced back, noticing that those in the room were focused on their work. Nothing seemed to line up around me. The distance between me and everything around me could have been called “depth of penetration of the wave of living”, through excess of intelligibility, in the continuous present of a memory devoid of emotional charge.

So, I listened to my thoughts, I measured my emotions, I let myself be overwhelmed by the alleged asymmetries that are often noticed in the arts, such as: deviation from direction, the preference of the eye to perceive only the appearance of reality, the interaction between a repetitive image and a perspective of dynamism devoid of horizons, or a movement without a certain impulse from the outside world (but able to create a process from the process itself).

Leadership: Can you emphasize a characteristic of the phenomena that disturb you, given all that differentiates and particularizes them in the relationship between what you expect to see and what you did not see at first glance?

But what interested me most when I returned to the gym was the inherent dynamism that spilled over into the hustle and bustle of my inner world. It is not about a forgotten object in a place with a lot of physical and mental load, it is not about any rational fabric in the bosom of which the threads are in a complete tension. Even if you could feel a curious pressure that usually occurs under conditions of great physical exertion, which I had never felt before. But the fact that, suddenly, returning to that place, I felt cloistered in a corner of the world without horizons.

I simply did not see myself framed in the painting of a painter who carries out his art in complete silence, at the same time wanting to explore a new approach to how to make and appreciate an artistic product. What I had forgotten about the gym was actually a way of exploring the inner world, the relationship I had with myself, not with others. It was a way to disconnect from my daily routine, a way to be surprised by what is preconscious (that is, things I might become aware of when I try not to think about them).

A forgotten sweater denotes the action of a confused mind that mixes times, spaces and emotions, a life, a destiny, a call, and then sinks them all into a trace I left unintentionally. For a few minutes I floated in a kind of whirlwind of adaptations, of reconfigurations of intentions and meta-perspectives, without understanding what was happening to me. Something made me think at that moment, but at the same time I had to not slip too hard into an area of expansive and eidetic emotions.

Maybe, however, I had to forget something in the gym, so as not to forget that what can hurt me the most is what inspires and makes me feel good: the decision to stay within the limits of an approximate normalcy. The forgotten sweater cannot change my mood, just as my mood does not depend on my return to a place where any passivism disappears, giving way to the perspective of dynamism to bring changes to an intensified existence.

Rather, I believe that my temporary return to the gym has managed to change the reality of the urban landscape, turning it into a place of self - reflection. I understood that I had to evolve as a man who recognized his responsibility for self-reflection and new beginnings, by the simple conviction that my return to a certain place could not change my destiny, could not overturn my conceptions of life, cannot change my mood or my positive thinking.

Leadership explains why my attitude needs to be revised by avoiding the tendency to subject myself emotionally to a moment of inattention, or forgetfulness, which in the next moment changes and turns in another direction where there is only one control valve: self-reflection and self-assessment.

Are You Sure You Didn’t Forget Anything? Always ask yourself this question when you feel that something is missing from your life, from within you, stating that everything you have left behind can be a small demonstration of what is before you. You just have to know how to tell the difference between what you know and what you think you know, or the difference between what you were, what you are, and especially what you will be.

I could emphasize a feature of the processes and phenomena that disturbed me in the relationship between what I expected to see and what I did not see for the first time. This characteristic is called “deviation from causal determinism”, and it marks a return to what should have been normal.

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