I Am And I Am Not
Represent your trajectory in the equation of leadership by maintaining contact with the edifying areas of your being.
Immediately, I had to find a plausible explanation for the points of view of my form of interfering with what I wanted to hide in another being, for my inner state to correspond with the demands of a sort of beginning of a world. Could I survive with the idea of a double being, personified into a sort of Faust-Mefisto, of which I thought would show me the path towards capitalizing on a deep thinking, revealing an idealistic and symbolic construction?
A being that exists in two worlds, one empirically-sensitive and another transcendent of ideas, is nothing more than an imperfect copy of a word-exposed experience, specific to a visionary of great expressiveness, someone deeply emphasizing the signs of a reality above what a mind used to the comfortable world of symbols can take. I believe that I was firmly fit within in the coordinates of the thinking of such a visionary being, for the unlimited duration of the ideas coming from a reality that coagulates most of the symbols that impregnate my unconscious side, seeming to live (through creation and concepts) the memory of some ideas coming from another world.
Distinguishing essence from appearance, oscillating between past and present, forces you to adjust your creation to express a complete vision.
Virtually, my whole creature oscillates between the creation of an artist who uses an artistic language based on generalizations, and the monologue of a writer who attempts to reconstitute the story of a life of another existence over the present experience. A construction that will strongly individualize me in the landscape of self-awareness, making use of all that was best in me, if I had not managed to distinguish essence from appearance, like a suggestive conclusion for the aesthetic vision of Catalan architect Antoni Gaudi: "all unite and collaborate to express the great code of Creation."
Here, another parallel needs to be drawn. For I remember what Marquerite Yourcenar wrote in her notes in the novel “The Memoirs of Hadrian”:
To do as much as you can. To remake. To imperceptibly retouch the imprint itself. “I myself correct myself”, said Yeats, correcting my works. “He was one of those who had the good will to be bothered on his own initiative to rectify a mistake, to confirm a detail, to support a hypothesis, to facilitate a new research – facts for which I give him my friendly thanks.
Through what urges you to be the link between artist and creation, are you prepared to turn yourself into a perfect copy of a spiritual state reflected from a more different image of yourself?
From the nuances of a stimulus "I am and I am not", within the limits of a time that brings down its questions, arises a flow of acceptability of increasingly less visible or felt consequences, like fantasies acquired through something never reached. My link between artist and creation, suggesting a certain individualization of the chosen topics, concentrates an idea that is above all others, namely that whatever you expect to accomplish through knowledge confirms that emotion of adventure, of the unpredictable and the unknown.
I was living with the impression that I could obtain a victory over my own individual nature not only by confronting spirits and gods, thus broadening it up to human limits, but especially through a spontaneous split if personality, hosting a guiding inner voice and a limiting outer one that would not allow me to accept myself as I am.
The link between artist and creation is given by the fiction of a life in which you can be EVERYTHING, but in which anyone can recognize themselves.
The fiction that my creation emanated was a perfect copy of a spiritual state reflected in a different image of myself, that state I allowed myself to be enveloped by when I entered a dream with countless interpretations that was part of a continuous process of learning about myself.
This painful impression, coming from a real motive, followed me everywhere. It is the same impression that sometimes followed Adrian Leverkuhn, but one he would forget about quite rapidly by listening to the emotional recitative of the Purgatory parable, about the man who carries through the night a light on his back: it doesn’t show him the way, but it illuminates the path behind him, thus helping those who come after him.
Can you discover from a double hypostasis the animation of the painting called “A light in the darkness” by how you open your horizons to a reality that seems to be entirely foreign a priori?
Man’s trajectory in the equation of leadership can be represented in contact with the edifying areas of his being, in which the passage from a limiting representation of the self to an extensive one is decided. Man edifies what he wants to sustain through what he kept practicing to accept from himself, seeking to establish himself in both components of self-esteem: knowledge and truth.
The personality and thinking of a man are both exemplary in the trajectory of a double being. One which seeks to make itself a master of its own life in a created world. The other which seeks to master its self-awareness by focusing in a direction based on imagination, into the real world.
Your belonging to a wider framework of managing personal development is the result of uniting the two beings, but with focusing more on one to the detriment of the other. Learn to correct yourself by correcting your work called the Ego from an Alter-Ego that does not give you peace and tries to hide behind a fictional reality.
You can discover in a double situation the animation of the painting called "A light in the dark" if you place yourself in the context of a consequence of your unity, interfering with identifying and the shaping of a certain direction in life, just like in a fiction that captures the attention. Thus, you learn the value of a separation between the part of you that eagerly asks you from that "something" from the outside and the consciousness that imposes certain restrictions upon you.
What you are represents the consequence of the Ego that wants to make its concepts of the world known in the story of life.
"A light in the dark" suggests the duration of crossing your own bridge of understanding, at the intersection between the two beings, until you realize that self-perspective amplifies until the direct engagement in the ideal framework of a real life-story.
What cannot be calculated is the difference between what is true and what we perceive in a limited way, yet still resonating over how we interpret what is happening to us throughout life.
But what turns man into the profile of a work of great intellectual and emotional openness, facing his inherent complexities, under the influence of the imperative impetus of highlighting that part of his being that is often underestimated and less understood, is tied to the ability of distinguishing essence from appearance.
Opening your horizons to a reality that seems to be a entirely foreign a priori is to recognize yourself as being victorious in the struggle between what you seek to do through knowledge, at the level of Ego, and what you experience at a level of consciousness and feeling dependent on an Alter Ego that is considered “full of contradictions, just like the world around you”.
Leadership is the being you represent in the search for the meaning given to a life story from a work called “the aesthetic of a self-seeking creator”.
The edifying areas of your being at a Creator level are: the ability to think independently of others, the ability to present new constructions of reality, the ability to create a new world with words.
I Am And I Am Not is the consequence of your re-finding yourself in a double situation: a being which seeks to make itself a master of its own life in a created world. And the other which seeks to master self-awareness by focusing on a direction based on imagination, in the real world.
The more aware we are of the deep parts that resemble, under apparent differences, the more able we will be to get understand ourselves.
