Only About Me
Try to define yourself and reach yourself by reflecting yourself in another being.
He never looks at me, but always listens to me. He doesn’t need a vail to hide his worries. I still know nothing about him, after so many nights and days paraded through the changing circle of inserting the known and lost. Does he wink to the entire history of the universe? Only he recognizes me as I am, I care about his opinion when he takes my main writings into consideration, evidence of my exemplary behavior towards limitless knowledge over which is spread the memorable embrace of the never-before-seen.
The mark of a strange apparition in the world of my own thoughts is an uncertain direction of research. To discover his particular version of manifestation I have to let myself be carried away by a new order, abandoning myself like a stray from another world, sewn from an undiscovered law of time, in a risky game of sincerity. At the same time, he seems to be dominated by that note of elegance with which the painter puts on his easel his own pastel shades, feeling attracted to the aesthetics of a world that can at any point transform into a metaphor, a comparison or another figure of speech, because everything in his life seems to have a meaning of the fabulous and the miraculous.
If I were to make a trip to his world, I should refer to a passage from Golem, by Gustav Meyrink:
“Now I know who the stranger is: I need only want to and I can feel him again within me, anytime. But to see his face in front of me, eye to eye, is not possible, nor will it ever be. And I realize this: it is a sort of negative, an unseen matrix that I cannot comprehend and in which I have to sneak into, if I want to become conscious of the form and expression it has within me.”
How do you approach the reality of your own existence through an image that reflects the context of the memory of a concealer of confidence able to take possession of the most thoughtful thinking of your mind?
I still do not have a rigorous definition of it. If I were to describe this entity of surveillance, as a pulse charged with an energy of high vibration, of an electromagnetic nature, I should first try to characterize the living systems through those essential traits that allow for their opening in a thermodynamic of matter. What are the defining physical characteristics of microscopic living systems?
He accepts my weakness as a gift of nature, which he is not allowed to treat lightly, knowing that my totality works easier when grateful than when in debt. It is the convention with myself, the intermolecular force that invades my neural space, my entire body, my soul, with electrifying vibrations. It is the reviewing with all that means spirit, it is my retrieval, my cry for help, the natural intelligence aligned with the requirements of an existing determination outside of immediate understanding, my alter-ego in the past, present, and future.
Twisting my mind through the words of Yugoslav writer Mesa Selimovic, I try to understand my variations under the influence of a central power: "There is time for everything. I gave it to myself, and on the thread of judgement there will be hearings and testimonies. I shall not go around them, and I will eventually be able to utter my own damnation, because everything is about me in this case, and no one else. Only me."
The most thoughtful thinking of a man’s mind depends on how he manages his identity, so that no one replaces him with a duplicate of his. The fact of being identical to one’s self, the original, without relying on anyone else, is a form of manifestation of faith in an ideal for unity that you have transformed into reality.
Do you seek in your relationship with the world a certain development that will not become absurd in extremis, as a consequence of the astonishment of seeing yourself alien to yourself ?
He who dares speak of himself following experiences enriched by hidden things and embodiments, fundamental for resetting consciousness, is capable of defining himself in terms of belonging to an entity higher than himself, according to a higher intellectual standard.
Leadership can be modeled through a phenomenon of the type "Return to someone else of your own". Launching a calling to a return towards a new, possibly more realistic orientation and, at the same time, reliable, removing the waves of a sweet drift. Seeing yourself as a stranger to yourself, someone else to whom you thought you are, reflects a certain tendency to exteriorize feelings, thoughts, motivations, the understanding of a world you know very little about, a world that forgets its past, and gives you the fundamental virtue of being able to transfigure yourself into another beginning of mentality.
The man who found his reflection in a different being, standing face to face with himself, so that he can become an integral part of a higher way of thinking, can, at any given time, smash the walls of the prison symbolically called "The Old". He becomes, through an acceptance of ideas and self-induced beliefs, more or less viable, the owner of certain virtues that could constitute the way of recognizing himself as an individual separated from the world, as a better companion of his individual life on the path of development.
Leadership based on the recognition of a guiding identity is an assumed and balanced way of concentrating on what you didn’t know you knew about yourself in a context like “Looking at yourself from outside yourself with your own eyes.”
The best leaders know they have to measure up to themselves, to the shadow and light within them. Within them, everything is more active. They are not the prisoners of a conditioning of reality projected inside of them, but always – especially in the most reflective of moments – it seems they are following the advice of Romanian literary historian George Călinescu: "Do not allow others to discover what you represent ! Define yourself if you have this ambition and you will be believed ! "
"Strive to understand yourself" is the cry for freedom of people that seek within their relationship with the world a certain development, one that will not become absurd in extremis. Harder than anything else is self-acceptance in the sense of inflexibility, the inability to surpass a model worthy of being admired. Difficulty to accept is the feeling of not finding your peace, your meaning, your sense of life.
Ultimately, what is life, other than an eternal attempt to understand your purpose, to build and shape yourself, to evolve and define yourself based on fluctuating experiences, imagination and reality, the conclusions of the intellect, which result from the conversations with yourself. With an alter-ego.
An alter-ego that seeks itself, trying to break free from the crowd, is a habit of the mind to see itself as a winner in a struggle with a present that awaits to redefine itself.
Only About Me I could talk for hours on end, days, weeks, years, without stopping. Because I have a good listener, my reflection in a more discreet presence, but a greater one. While striving to understand it I will maybe discover my relationship with the world, finding my purpose in the book of life.
