The Firm Impulse Towards Evolution Of The Fundamental-Dubitative Being
Define the "Man" within you throughout the process of transformation, without falling from the height of your own vision over what you are.
I was almost to fall from the height of my own vision on what I was. I sighed worried. If I gave up to the firm but irrational impulse that invariably assaulted me in the short transition of that hours, I would have risked a penalty, an injury, a forced collapse into nothingness. I tried an elevation of my being into something I could not be. Like a dry branch under the weight of a huge will, I was directly breaking my graceful flight toward excellence.
Being distracted by an almost obsessively thought, continually rising in my brain like a column of infinite, putting his imprint on my own soul, I dared to walk a path that was never followed by anyone. In a sphere of obscurity, into the deepest abyss uncharted by anyone, in the place where I hoped to find the answer to my own searches.
Damn. I would not feel regret for putting the foot where no one stepped. But I went too far with speculations, with assumptions, with my researches, much too chaotic, like the man, who soars in the deep mud of a swamp and, on the verge of drowning, clings to everything that it seems to him can keep to the surface. Without too much chance of success.
Resizing a mysterious understanding of my whole life could have made it possible to change the trajectory of my becoming an artist who paints a broad vision, but without being capable of a truly remarkable achievement. I was ashamed of a metaphysical interventionism that could not obtain mobilizing and stimulating valences on my own state of mind.
Does the verdict you put on your current feelings makes you come to the limit of your ability to respond with "YES" to the demands of an escape from the faces of clashing thoughts that keep you from knowing your life story?
The story of my life was bolstered by the secondary reflex of a thinking that bravely overcame a day’s projections. I seemed detached from a novel by Stephen Crane, a soldier lost on a battlefield, crushed by a parallel sense, an option like: "yes, I will do this" or "no, it would be better not to try". A whole blaze of the vital feeling, of worldly anxiety, basically indefinable.
Clearly, like a fundamental-dubitative being, always hunted by doubts and anxieties, I was blinded by the increasing light of my selfishness to conquer always something else, to chase after the increasing performance, continuing to widen my sphere of existence, to put everything into question. Significant, I was attracted by an irresistible force, impelled by the urgent need to respond to the questions that haunted me.
I saw far into the darkness, in the attempt to progress higher, lit only by my inner world, dynamized by the brightest parts of my vision. Determined by the intuition, by my higher knowledges, I ran towards something that did not suit me. Searching, like a magician in a top hat, a new content, a new breakthrough of the impossible.
This constant in change of my life, a little unusual, became a source of anxiety. I involuntarily manifested, then increasingly antagonistic my own inability to penetrate the impossible, through a sabotage of my own personality. Everything swirled around me with a dizzying speed. I felt a deep anger against my own will, in the desperate attempt to rediscover myself.
How do you define yourself during the evolving process of trying to keep your mind constantly challenged by the illusion of a self-contained false self?
Are you running after increasing performance? Do you keep widening your sphere of existence putting everything into question? Are you facing a choice like "yes, I will do this" or "no, it would be better not to try "? Are you trying to evolve continuously through a breakdown of the impossible? Do you find a last resort of force through a desperate attempt to discover yourself? Are you starting a tedious and a sterile search of "false knowledges" that cannot satisfy than only for a moment your evolution?
Talking about the man and his continuing desire for change, this trajectory included in his existence that takes a substantial part of his functionality, means above all recognizing his constitutive report with his efforts to "recover" himself. This recovery, the clear recognition of his real progress, of the decision manifested around his own feelings and experiences, is based on the truth revealed by the great French philosopher Denis Diderot. He stated:
"To say that man is a compound of strength and weakness, light and darkness, smallness and greatness, is not to indict him, it is to define him."
The ability to maximize your leadership depends on how you define yourself, as a man, throughout the process of evolution. You are your own "Creator", a pivotal component of self-knowledge that you should not disregard it as a five coin money that fell near a ditch, on a deserted street.
Are you tempted to retire in the "Refuge in which there are no mirrors", about the inclination of the mind to deny itself when it comes to over-contemplating the immediate realities that direct the aspects of life?
Regarding this word - "Creator" - so common, with so many meanings; it is preferable to have a certain filter that would not allow a reversion to the status produced in a messy way, but to a revitalization of its own resources and energies. A deviation from a "to be" to a "to become" more prominently developed in a particular direction. But, a direction that does not takes the appearance of a fight with the windmills - an attempt to evolve permanently, blinded by the increasing light of selfishness of always conquering something else.
It is like, breaking contact with the daily life; you would find a refuge designed to self-knowledge. But, a refuge, a dark closet, where there are no mirrors, where you are not allowed to look at yourself. Everything spins in your mind, thoughts are going crazy, probably more stressed than the usual, but in a direction opposite the reality.
Just as reading a book is not enough to produce a change in life, so the lack of a "reflection" on your potential narrows totally your horizons, being unable to produce a trigger, an awakening, a disconnection from the too pronounced tendency towards development, towards the inauspicious evolution.
That means to fall from the height of your own vision over what you are. You create to yourself a singular thinking and that one seen in the wrong way, only with the "eyes" of imagination, a pillar on which is based the entire structure of your psyche, but that does not have any stability. Because it lacks substance, truth, maintaining a caution; a shining star, close to you and very researched.
Come on, stop for a moment and be a "Man". A man who does not lack mirror. Always look at it. What does it reflects? Is it another man from the one I know?
Is it the time to put your identity into question? How do you define the "Man" within you and what it is reflected in his exterior? Is it the man within you a "conductor" of strength or weakness? A source of light or darkness? Do you give evidence of "smallness of mind" or of grandeur in the whirl of evidences towards achieving excellence?
Leadership approached in terms of "refuge in which there are no mirrors" is in line with the idea that man’s power or weakness can always be closed in a very limited existential space that shakes through the tragedy of a living at the limit of supportability.
The Firm Impulse Towards Evolution Of The Fundamental-Dubitative Being means the strong spark that sets in motion the change, but a change to the detriment of "Man" that wants himself entirely rational, researching his own knowledge before using it.
Just as hemoglobin binds to oxygen and provides blood the red color, so the man who knows how to clearly define the character in the mirror, can give a higher degree of credibility to his own vision, providing more quality material to support the sustainable development - that very strong color of moderation, of discernment, balance, and self-control, the tendency towards analysis and depth, which plays a key-role in his personal evolution.
