Neculai Fantanaru

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The Imprisonment And Release Of My Soul

On January 25, 2021
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Leadership XS-Analytics by Neculai Fantanaru

You must have the maturity to accept a personal defeat in order to realize that your desire to be superior to the rest of the world only keeps you captive in a cage.

It is a discussion with a friend on the running track, at the end of today’s training. And everything I said in those few minutes, which seemed to pass so quickly, reminded me of an emotional film, with an even more emotional ending. The film is entitled Flawless (2007). Of course, this is not about just any discussion, nor about a discussion on the subject of any psychological “specific” of friendship, but about the chance to mature, to let myself be carried away by the wave of the possibility of accepting another point of view on human nature.

And he repeated to me, once again, and again: “Nicu, leave the past behind, and don’t compete with anyone. And don’t let the past overwhelm you, just for the fact that the present doesn’t run away with your pride of not forgetting that fragment of momentum, of great vibration that once determined you to go forward… and never stop.”

Same as in the film Flawless (2007), you could see a part of the feeling of the man who cannot forget his past, and cannot get rid of it in any way, even if he wanted to find in himself an escape from exceptional prison of the mind and of the soul, control entities of the human being put to the test.

Similarly, the end of the film is a part of me, because everything in me resonates with that sensitive but unseen part of the soul of a man who has defeated his destiny, but could not forget that little illusion, quicksand, which is called… the present.

Leadership is a consequence of your affinity for the superiority of the spirit, at a time when the fall of the image you have built over time is proclaimed to be more than certain.

And because my friend advised me to leave the past behind, and to try and not prioritize the competitive spirit, I suddenly entered the space of the film, when in the end the heroine unloads all her hidden feelings, many of them long gone under the protection of anonymity.

Somehow, one step away from hiding from the past, the heroine chooses to look as she really was, freely revealing her feelings. And her so emotional words, full of simplicity, with which the film ends, are perhaps the memories of the feeling that my mind can never leave:

“l never intended this to happen, but the new game of life sent me in a different direction. I discovered the world and through it, I discovered myself. And just today… today I gave away the last penny of my fortune. I’m free at last.

Except… except for that jewel that you held in your hand. That I’ve been saving for a rainy day.

Or perhaps… or perhaps it’s the last little piece of vanity that I have left.”

Leadership: An exaggerated belief in one’s own abilities expresses concern for the image you project on the outside, but can it challenge the perspective of the experience of living with limitations and blockages?

And in that brief moment of reflection, when someone spoke to me like a brother, he being a late traveler knocking at the gate of the human soul, I felt freed from the prison of pride of being different in trying to show that to the whole world. There is nothing more deceptive than the desire to be unique, and I know that this came to me very naturally, both objectively and subjectively.

Just as Papillon, after countless attempts to escape from the Cayenne prison, finally managed to escape from prison and, once in France, made public the conditions and draconian treatment he underwent, so did I after countless attempts to improve myself and to reach the highest level of competence, according to my merits and my very rigorous training, came in one moment to understand that in fact not everyone applies the same rule in interpersonal relationships and that, probably, something else is expected of me. I felt I had to announce my change before the world changed me.

I had to have the maturity to accept a personal defeat in order to realize that my desire to be superior to the rest of the world only kept me captive in a cage, in a state of revolt.

There must be no rivalry or competitive thinking in friendship. Often, the reason for a man’s disgrace may be his refusal to accept a greater tolerance of the unanimous normal “shine” accepted by the majority. In leadership, normalcy is a favorable long-term state, while superiority may be a favorable short-term option, but one that cannot guarantee that things will not change for your partners, or that they will stay with you.

In fact, you never know what personality you’re talking about when talking to a professional. Because at some point the professional realizes that his privileged status is not exactly what he wants, and he changes his mind. He even runs away from his own shadow, from a past that burdens him and hinders his personal social evolution. Here comes another stage in the becoming of his being in which nostalgia arises and he begins to live from “the old-fashioned perfume of other time”, he begins to bear more and more with difficulty the loneliness of the experience of being different from others. And only here does he understand leadership.

Strong leadership takes into account the perspective of the experience of living by correspondence with the being from the emotional support model required by the specific realities of humanity, so it deprioritizes the experience of living through the model of success that a performer aspires to.

The Imprisonment And Release Of My Soul depend on how I manage to combine performance and superiority with the lessons of humanity and life that I have often learned too late.

Leadership is an exercise in developing self-acceptance and self-esteem in the sense of a significant majority, in the sense of a world in which social reward is not an offer of personal value, but a consequence of your affinity for the superiority of the spirit, at a time when the fall of the image you have built over time is proclaimed to be more than certain.

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