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The Most Advantageous Way

On September 08, 2009, in Leadership-Y5-SuperZoom, by Neculai Fantanaru

Enhance your personal assertion potential by enriching your perspectives and your understanding towards the tangible part of your presence in the world.

A few days ago I was visiting one of my best friends. It was the first visit I have made him this year, and I think I hit a pretty inappropriate moment. Some distant relatives of him also came in visit shortly before me, and already started to talk in the kitchen, where I have been also invited.

It was a little girl with them, after stature and look, after her playful voice she could not be more than six years. Together with my friend's nephew were playing the hide and seek through the house, freely, without disturbing anyone, without making too much noise. Even so, whenever her turn came to hide, the girl, very cheerful, very happy, and with a lot of appetite for playing, quickly ran, and hid under the kitchen table. She was waiting crouched like in a cage, behind the table cloth, which hang to bottom, right time to rush to the wall in order to win the game. Nevertheless, what a bad luck, the boy discovered her every time.

I asked myself: if she still has total freedom, why she does not try to hide somewhere else - in the living room, in one of the bedrooms, after a closet, after any desk, or under the bed – just as would have made many children, after the door, after the refrigerator, behind the hanger, in any other place?

Leadership: How do you define yourself by relating to a situation in which you feel obliged to play the role of an observer, without being receptive and solicitous to the requirements of a life experience that can only be accumulated by direct involvement?

Nobody told her anything; nobody intervened in their intense game, though definitely all together were watching their romp. The girl came back under the table, each time firmly convinced that she will trick her game partner, which did not happen at all. Certainly, the place inspired a total confidence to her, although I do not really know from where this confidence came. Maybe she was used to that place, maybe it seemed to her the safest hiding in the house. Regardless of the way she was thinking, one thing it was certain: all the time she came back under the table, and each time she was found. She never won the game.

Now I am asking you: if tomorrow the girl will play the hide and seek somewhere else, in another house, what you think will be safe and reliable place where she will hide? You guessed it: probably under the kitchen table.

At that moment, I felt an alienation from the world around me, I experienced an alienation from myself, but only after many years I understood it to the end, with all the subtleties that can make a difference between an image of exceptional quality and a weaker one. I had to redefine myself at the central point of a mirror that does not reflect any importance. I was the image of a nobody who embraces the triviality of life while others live in a free spirit through a continuous appeal to action.

Leadership: Do you understand your reaction to a situation that, unfortunately, does not depend on you, so you can overcome your tendency to always play the role of being defeated?

It is certainly really hard to be in the skin of those who beat the pace in place and not moving forward with anything in all that they undertake. The role of the girl, of the defeated, it is played by many of us, without realizing it. We used to follow, since we were small, one-way, as if the other did not exist.

We used to organize our actions only in one direction, not understanding that it exist and will always exist other ways, other possibilities, some of them more favorable than we might think. Most often we feel attracted by a safe place. Moreover, we do the same safe things, but ridiculous, for a long time, and then ask with stupefaction: how nothing has changed?

To continue doing the same things and to expect different results is absurd, but some people, unfortunately, will always indulge in this nonsense.

Leadership: Can the primordial essence of what characterizes you in a "I observe, but I cannot get involved" situation fulfill its functions of ordering a wider reality only through the contribution of some particularities to the leadership factors of the conception of free will?

The three leading factors of the concept of free will are: the proposed purpose, the voluntary specific effort and the attitude of overcoming obstacles.

Did it ever happen to you to find a map, but to do not know what it indicates? The interpretation of a map should be based on a fixed idea. For often the interpretation it is also based on negative information. Sometimes, what it does not appear on the map is just as important as that it is represented there.

As a leader, you are called to give the start of a road, not to look at how others find their way. The conception underlying the creation of this road, the action steps that will help you traverse more efficient the route, the constituent or auxiliary elements, all these steps are somehow combined on a map – an inner map, based on a more deductive reasoning. If this map stores a too larger amount of negative information, caused by others or created by you, then the road that it is represented on it will be obviously wrong.

However, just like the girl, of whom I was telling you in the beginning, you may get stuck when it comes to the correct reading and interpreting of your inner map. You may follow an unprofitable path, and your progresses may not be rewarded.

And one of the most important lessons is this: the essence that characterizes a leader is what constitutes and determines a thing, a reaction, or a direction in accessing a new reality, it should not be the constant expression of a deep and careful look that permanently loses itself in the light of others’ destiny.

The essence of the new consciousness that must flourish in you can be the difference between the deep view that is forever lost in the light of others’ destiny for an opening to what is really happening in life to understand the direction of a new perspective of perception of the phenomenon called "alienation from yourself".

The Most Advantageous Way you can get under the effect of a memorable existential moment is given by the lesson you have to learn, no matter how painful, one that you will use to always remember the importance of having a certain circumstance in creating a much deeper reality.

 


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