Neculai Fantanaru

Everything Depends On The Leader

The Real Needs Of Leadership

On December 27, 2008
, in
Leadership XS-Analytics by Neculai Fantanaru

Take the chance to be at the center of attention, so as to facilitate the process of promoting your highest values.

I read a news item on the internet yesterday morning. A reporter who was present at the scene of a serious accident wrote on a piece of paper the last words that the seriously injured girl murmured before she died. The reporter wrote in shock:

“Mom, I went out with my friends and went to a party. I remembered your words: Don’t drink alcohol. You actually asked me because I had to drive. So I only drank sodas. I was proud of myself, Because I followed your advice. Compared to my other friends, I made the right choice. Your advice was correct. When the party was over, everyone took their cars, but without being able to drive safely… I, on the other hand, was sure I was conscious. Mom, I couldn’t even begin to imagine what was about to happen. Now I’m lying on the asphalt and I hear the police officer talking… My blood is all over the asphalt and I’m trying my best not to cry. I hear the doctors saying I’m not going to make it…

I’m sure the other young man who was driving didn’t realize how fast he was going… In conclusion, he decided to drink. And I have to die now… Why are they doing this, Mom? If I know they’re going to destroy lives…? The pain I feel is like being stabbed by thousands of knives. Tell my sister not to be afraid and my father to be strong. Someone had to tell this young man that he should not drink alcohol if he was driving. Maybe if his parents had told him, as you told me, I would be alive now… My breathing is getting weaker… and I’m starting to get scared, mom ! These are my last moments and I am so desperate ! I would so much like to hug you and tell you that I love you… I love you so much, mother… Goodbye…”

These words touched a whole world, but first and foremost the reporter who wrote them. After this tragic event, the reporter started a tough campaign against driving under the influence of alcohol.

Leadership: Is it justified to take a very small chance to get out of a deadlock that is difficult to overcome, with the risk of not respecting the obligations imposed on you from the beginning?

Who has the balance of your power to choose between being or not being a man of influence, a man who makes change or prefers stagnation? Would you rather be just an indifferent witness to a serious accident whose consequences, even if they can affect the lives of others, do not change your whole being at all? Do you still maintain the same status in this situation? Or would you rather take a proactive approach to correcting and preventing events that overwhelm the whole world?

Leadership is not a strictly technical field, and the leader is not a robot that acts only on the basis of “software” created within the strict and precise limits of mathematics, physics and electronics. But it must also be loaded with feelings of empathy, and the leader must know how to express them in front of the people he leads, or cares for, respecting their feelings and experiences, because otherwise he will fail and will not be able to complete what he started.

What greatly diminishes the value of your own way of being, and what is detrimental to your lifestyle, is that inability to identify the real needs of leadership that you practice, and that you intend to raise to the highest possible level. Honor your obligations in such a way that from one end of your personality to the other no character traits are questioned, no feelings are planted or distributed at random.

Just as aging is a process that does not forgive anyone, so too a man who is unable to value his leadership — planting in the souls of others the joy of joining his path, is not forgiven by the fate of failure. Relating to others is an absolutely necessary process, without which you cannot move to a higher level.

Leadership: Are you able to change the background of the reality that fuels an event destined to mark you so that your character traits are not questioned?

What do you think is the factor that could significantly diminish the value of your own way of being? Do you honor your obligations so that your character traits are not called into question? How do you express your feelings in front of people? What is the unique quality needed by a leader that characterizes you? How do you contribute to the change process?

If there are certain momentary escapes from your will to help change things, if it fails your spirit to try to draw attention to a certain aspect, if the source of energy that fuels your self-belief amplification station (and can heal any wounds ) ceases to function, then your potential for influence will drop sharply.

The general tendency in leadership is not towards differentiation or diversity, but rather towards homogeneity. You need to unite all those parts of you that define you, and bring them to a common denominator so that they can be accepted by everyone. These are the qualities that you must always show: the tendency to be appreciated, the need to be careful about who you trust, your potential ability to empathize with what others are projecting on you, the willingness to hear what is proposed you should listen to, the discernment to make informed choices, the ability to discern between different emotions.

Just as multicellular organisms arise from a single cell, the egg cell, so will your potential leader grow from that singular bond that is established between the parts that define you, guaranteeing you the right to impose yourself decisively in the process of changing things, actions you can change, to obtain common benefits.

Leadership: Are you focused on fulfilling your consent to hear what is being listened to, at a time when you need to approve of the highest meaning of a feeling that refuses to go beyond appearance?

A certain trend that is becoming more and more accentuated in some leaders is the temporary nature of the responsibility they assume, in continuous “crisis” I would say. Because they casually omit the essential, they go beyond what is essential to successful leadership without embarrassment: they forget their role, that’s why they are replaced. Or, rather, others are the ones who manage to assume their responsibilities and set the tone for solidarity, replacing the former.

Ordinary people, and yet special in certain situations, people like the reporter who was present at the scene of the serious accident, and moved by the last words of the seriously injured girl, began a tough campaign against driving under the influence of alcohol.

This possibility to act openly, immediately, objectively, to everything that is really important for you, for others, in a spirit of solidarity, is grounded, supported by the existence of the agreement between your ego and the true values ​​on which leadership is based. This possibility is open to all ordinary people.

If you do not send a message to others around you, as the reporter gave life to the message: “Do not drive under the influence of alcohol ! ”, Then you will not be able to place yourself among the people truly inclined to the art of leadership. You will miss the opportunity, even if you are not a leader, to make others understand that human life must be ennobled by the highest ideal: to save other lives.

Leadership is the fulfillment of the consent to hear what you have to listen to, at a time when you need to value the challenge of seeing what you hear.

The Real Needs Of Leadership are: the spontaneity of feeling that is understood by thought, the consent to hear what you have to listen to, the discernment to make informed choices, the ability to discern between different emotions, the ability to provide answers to get out from any confusion, the superior capitalization of the function of feeling over that of thought, the attempt of feeling to become reason.

Do you act openly, firmly, on everything that is really important to other people? What are the true values ​​on which your leadership is based? Is “solidarity” the most important feature of your leadership? Do you have the desire and the ability to increase your leadership potential? Do you have discussions with people to find out the answer to their problems? What are the obvious (or hidden) abilities of the person you want to select for change?

Man’s highest values ​​are empathy, emotional stability, adequate tolerance for failure, and the courage to not give up.

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