The Relentless Darkness Of The Mind Beyond Us
Keep your character intact in disorienting life events, so that your vulnerability won’t manifest at its highest.
Two Oxford ex-colleagues have dinner, but only a un diner d'affaire, and that’s all. Harold Reynolds and Laura Quinn. Unfortunately, Reynolds can’t offer Laura a job at the company where he works, because of a conflict of interests, he claims. But thus, with no harmful intentions, he rips in one movement the petals of one of the most sensitive chrysanthemum.
In this moment of terrible and disarming disdain, the poor woman is overcome by anger, reprobation and fear. Instantaneously, in the melting pot of her temper all those beneficial, optimist and refreshing thoughts she had put her hopes in, are melted and reduced up to a minimum. All her life essence, condensed in a moment of maximum intensity, sore by the shivers it senses, burning like a torch showing the way through darkness, strays away from morality.
It seems that Laura falls into a prolonged darkness of the mind beyond her, turning her into something evil, making her rebel, consuming her with an extraordinary power, devouring her until her last living drop, crashing her whole ethical scaffold. A moment of weakness nobody can understand, aside from the person living it, the main character of this very spontaneous happening of her being.
Just as the speed of a chemical reaction grows based on temperature, so does the flutter of her functional system, the temper that ignites fast, destabilizing any positive normal action, leads Laura towards the land of evil. Something erupts from within her with that impetuousness of a bloodthirsty animal, something inherent to any conscience, a desperation that is about to transform itself into a fiasco that might cost her dearly.
Is your character determined to play the determining role of vulnerability representation through an act of opposition to adverse circumstances, by adopting a psycho-emotional approach based on the belief that “tomorrow will be the same as today”?
Laura can’t keep her character intact, she becomes vulnerable. The boldness and determination defining her being build their momentum, turning into a diabolic scheme, a plan for absurd, uncalculated vengeance and passionate desire.
She feels that her entire being is crossed by a vehement tension: "To kill him ! To kill the bastard ! ", she mumbles involuntarily in the somber colors of the aggressiveness of her scorned Ego. The concentration of toxic substances which participate to the mental reaction is very big, it doesn’t vary, in theory, on the contrary, it triples. Her level of aggressiveness reaches high levels.
This woman, who just seconds ago was the kindest of all humans, who wouldn’t have killed a fly, loses her mind. The shaky, feverish hand searches instinctively for something with which to hit her opponent. To grab a knife, a fork, it doesn’t matter what, provided it is metal, sharp and hard, lethal from the very first blow. To suddenly drive it through him, deeper, harder, more satisfying.
Does the test of your character aim to convey to the world a more suggestive image of the aspect of “a life trapped in the cycle of the most intense experiences”, so as to avoid that trap of reasonable assumption that what does not kill you makes you stronger?
But Reynolds doesn’t suspect anything. Just as Peyrade, a Balzac character laid more carpets on the floors of his apartment so that the downstairs neighbors wouldn’t hear any noise. Reynolds seems to have covered his heart with many protective layers, that are hard to shatter, so that it can tick in peace, without any fears. He keeps looking at Laura with insouciance, like a system that can’t generate energy, that isn’t able to fight back under any circumstance.
- May I ? the waiter intervenes. A savior moment. Thus forced, the woman’s hand retreats slowly, beaten by the unpredictable, yet uncertain. Molecular clashes take place within Laura during the recombination of free radicals – uncertainty, fear, vulnerability – configuring a new apparently functional, yet fragile and unstable structure.
On the conscience walls, light is pouring at places. Weakness vibrates like jaws into mirrors. Temporarily, Laura is filled with a soothing peace, fully confirmed by those ancient words: "My eternal guardian, the heart, keeps watch."
The character of a man who experiences doubt in the midst of life’s storms resembles a used laptop: it is inexpensive to maintain, but will not be able to meet all the conditions to cope with more demanding “games”.
The fragility that encompasses human nature under the conditions imposed by the needs of a game of the type “I will show them, but… only for money”, is the sum of the deepest experiences that you can reveal to yourself in a kind of silent solemnity, when you fail to assume the greatness of working with a changing world.
The relentless darkness of the mind beyond us signals that precarious state of being, which devours man until his last breath. A moment of weakness that no one can understand, except the person experiencing it, a desperation about to transform into a total fiasco.
If you want your leadership to be considered the most valuable result of your ascension process, then keep your character intact in disorienting life events, so that your vulnerability won’t manifest at its highest.
* Note: Flawless (2007)
